#1
Ok, so I in order for me to letter in speeches, I was forced to write one this year. Now, Im usually pretty damn good at them, but I enjoy this one the best. Some of my things may not be 100% accurate, but I just want your overall idea's on it, If you hate, just say you hate it, no need to bash it. Thanks!
P.S: You guys can steal it for your own school speeches if yas want lol


"I swear on my kid's lifes, I never told him to get the gun" - Said by Ozzy, in response to a kid killing himself after listing to his music.

Honorable Judges, Teachers, Fellow Contestants, I've chosen to do my speech this year on the impact of music on the western
civilization.


Now, before you start shutting of your ears because of the long title, That basically meant the history of music, and how it effects our lifes. As for my introduction, i'll speak more about that later.

Everyone here can agree on one thing, music will impact our moods, our life styles and sometimes our decisions. It has done it for
years, and even more so now then ever before. Now, im not just talking about Metal, Rock and Roll or Rap, im also speaking to the
the people in here who listen to country, folk, blues and the few weirdo's who might even enjoy some jazz music. So, lets begin shall we?

I'll begin my approach in the 40's to the 50's. This is the time era the some of the greatest founders of Rock and Roll, Blues and Country started in. Within this time, Is also when the Infamous Hank Williams came about. Now, his songs where about as depressing as they come, bringing out great hits like "Im so lonely I could cry" and "The First Fall Of Snow". He sang of drinking away his problems in a bottle of Jack Daniel's, and he had a reported addiction to Morphine and Cocaine. Even this being common knowledge Did the air-waves censor some of his more "out there" music? Heck no, he's worshiped as a legion and they threw up a statue of him. Also In this time, we have the dirty old man named Muddy Waters. Muddy was a known as the "The Father Of Chicago Blues". Some of his more famous songs where "Got my Mojo workin" and when he played "Im a Hoochie Coochie Man" it was reported that he sang the lines "I'm going to make you, Pretty girl, lead me by the hand, scream so loud the world will know, im the Hoochie-Coochie Man". Now, Keep all of these dirty things in mind as I continue. As well, we had Elvis, he Overdosed on a toilet. I think that’s enough said, but how does this effect civilization? This is when alcoholic’s and depression was alarmingly high, and the purchase of whiskey was on the rise. Connection here anyone?

Ahh yes, the 60's-70's. The began with Johnny Cash (another, legend of the music industry) singing songs like famous "Cocaine Blues", with murder and drug use. And my personal favourite "Sunday Morning Coming Down", where he speaks of being so hung over and burnt out on a Sunday Morning, he was just wishing he was stoned. Now, to be fair, Johnny Cash did have people who didn't like him, and he was harassed due to his over-the-top lyrics at the time, but never sued. Later in the 60's, or my favourite topic to talk on, we find what is known as the "Acid Years" of music, where artists like the Beatles put such songs as "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". A song that made no sense, but the title speaks for itself. L.S.D, or acid. The Beatles where total drug addicted in these years, but they are also amazingly worshiped. Not much trouble was brought about. We also see bands like, The Doors whose soul musically inspiration was around acid, xtc, and even more hardcore drugs. The lead singer, Jim Morrison was actually so intoxicated at some shows, he would pass out during the second song, and not wake up during the concert. I think the acid rockers Jefferson Airplane said it best about how this "In 65, we played a show, everyone was dressed in suits and ties. We came back the next year to the date, and everyone was naked, taking acid and having a orgy on the floor. The impact of acid was amazing". Just to remind everyone, 60's-70's where the years of the hippies. Music has drugs, people have drugs. Wow, I think there is a connection here.

Now, we have 80's-90's. This is when heavy metal started. We seen bands like Metallica, Ozzy Osborne, Mega death and Twisted Sister. There music was over the top. Remember my introduction, I spoke of a child killing himself while listening to Ozzy Osbourne? Well, this is roughly the time it happened in. The song in question was named "Suicide Solution". Any parents worse dream would be a child listing to this music and taking it too literal. But what is the actual song singing about? Drinking yourself to death, Being a alcoholic. Not once is it mentioned in that song "Pick up the gun, its easier to die". Also in the 80's, the government decided to put out a "Ban" listen the Filthy Fifteen. It was basically a list of bands that have mention sex, or drugs or alcohol use in there lyrics. Wait...What? In 1980 they decided it was time to ban music, even though this was going on for the last 40 years? Why the sudden change? No one TRUELLY knows, but I believe it was that the music industry stopped beating around the bush, they bluntly came out with there intentions, unlike most of the music in the past. Oh, and before I forget. In 1980, Conway Twitty (country music icon again) released the song "Lay you down". speaking of how he would like to "lay down" the women he wants, even when he is a old man. Now, I’m not expert here, but I’m think he wants sex. Was this song ever question, did anyone get offended when a slower, country song said "Hey darling, Lets have sex!". I think not.

Now, we reach the end of my journey on the look of music, the 20 century music. Here, we have Eminem, Dirty Dozen, 50 Cent. Now, I will warn you, im not expect in the rap game, but I do know these artists got under A LOT of fire due to there lyrics. They rap about taking drugs, having sex, selling drugs, and doing anything to survive. Surely its not what you want your kids listing to right? Why don't kids now adays listen to some good old Hank Williams....Wait, Im sorry, I forgot that Hank was addicted to Cocaine. Well, there is always Conway Twitty..The sex craved country singer...Ozzy Osbo..No, forgot, he got sued because people didn't understand that drinking meant alcohol and ended up killing himself. Elvis overdosed on a toilet...Wow, who's left?

So, About now your probably asking yourself, what’s left to listen too, what about our kids, what will they listen to? Well, think about it this way. No matter your age, you heard about sex, drugs and everything else you can think of. Look how you turned out, all I need to say, is don't bash on your children or your peers for what they listen to, in the end, its all the same, one way or another. Thanks
Quote by pimpslap1236
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R.I.P Samantha
Last edited by Courchesne at Mar 8, 2008,
#2
Dude that was kickass.
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#4
can you summarize it in 5 words? cause i cant be arsed to read all that.
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#5
bravo.
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#6
Quote by bognorboy
can you summarize it in 5 words? cause i cant be arsed to read all that.


Sex drugs rocknroll is everywhere lol
Quote by pimpslap1236
the cops will lie to you. accept it. believing things they say is the intellectual equivalent of sticking your dick in a pencil sharpener.


R.I.P Samantha
#7
Quote by Courchesne
Sex drugs rocknroll is everywhere lol


Cool, well said


xxx
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#10
i read it and i have to say it was extremely undrwhelming. ignoring dumb things like spelling and grammar, your style is (in my oppinion) boring and pedantic and i would guess you have a tenous grasp on the english language. While i liked the topic 'the impact of music on western civilization', that makes me think of bach, not the beatles. i would probobly change 'western civilization' to 'contemporary society' or somesuch. I would work on having less variety in your sentences and while occasional slang can help keep interest charecterising jazz fans (even obviously as a joke) as 'weirdos' will make some people tune right out. moreover, i would try to have more facts and while this is not an essay possibly cite where some (obscure) things come from.all in all it was quite decent, while nothing spectacular. I would work on varying your sentences as well as taking some more flippant, excessive and (IMO) dumb sentences such as "wow, i think i see a conection here" out. possibly give thease five articles on rhetoric and modes of persuasion a read.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetoric
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modes_of_persuasion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_rhetoric.
while im not the bigest fan of the writing, if your a good speaker it will probobly go over fine. best of luck and sorry for the wall of text.
#11
dude i love you haha
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you get humanitarian of the day award.
#13
Quote by tehREALcaptain
I would work on having less variety in your sentences


Quote by tehREALcaptain
I would work on varying your sentences


would you now?
#14
I would never bash my childs...
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#15
I would never bash my childs...
Gear:

Squire Fat Stratocaster (Gotoh Pickups)
Marshall 50 DFX amplifier
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Vintage VS6
#16
Quote by tehREALcaptain
i read it and i have to say it was extremely undrwhelming. ignoring dumb things like spelling and grammar, your style is (in my oppinion) boring and pedantic and i would guess you have a tenous grasp on the english language. While i liked the topic 'the impact of music on western civilization', that makes me think of bach, not the beatles. i would probobly change 'western civilization' to 'contemporary society' or somesuch. I would work on having less variety in your sentences and while occasional slang can help keep interest charecterising jazz fans (even obviously as a joke) as 'weirdos' will make some people tune right out. moreover, i would try to have more facts and while this is not an essay possibly cite where some (obscure) things come from.all in all it was quite decent, while nothing spectacular. I would work on varying your sentences as well as taking some more flippant, excessive and (IMO) dumb sentences such as "wow, i think i see a conection here" out. possibly give thease five articles on rhetoric and modes of persuasion a read.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetoric
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modes_of_persuasion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_rhetoric.
while im not the bigest fan of the writing, if your a good speaker it will probobly go over fine. best of luck and sorry for the wall of text.



I respect your opinion, but to make things a little more clear for what you said, The reason I choose my language, is when i write speeches, I write them not to sound like a formal essay, repeating facts back to the listener, for I found that to be boring. No one wants to sit for six minutes listing to pure facts, so I make it sound more like a person would talk, keeping more interests then if it was indeed just facts being read of a sheet of paper. I find this helps people relate more, and it makes it sound like they are not hearing a lecture, but an opinion on one side of the topic. Western Civilization was only chosen because thats what we are, as "classic" sounding as it is, but I do agree with your statement that contemporary society would fit much better. As for my actually spelling and literal error's, I am just over horribly bad at spelling. As long as I know enough for me to read it, thats all I truely care about.

Thank you greatly on your opinion though, I will take some of your suggestions in consideration when I "re-vamp" so to speak.

Edit: Also as for the jazz joke, That only works for where I live, in an extremely small village less then 1000 people, so with "Jazz" joke will actually work, if it was a different place with more diversity within the music people listen to, i would probably find a different filler to put in there.
Quote by pimpslap1236
the cops will lie to you. accept it. believing things they say is the intellectual equivalent of sticking your dick in a pencil sharpener.


R.I.P Samantha
Last edited by Courchesne at Mar 8, 2008,
#18
haha. that was awesome. I'm not sure the people who are doing the grading will like it as much as we did. but it proved a very good point.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


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#19
Quote by bognorboy
can you summarize it in 5 words? cause i cant be arsed to read all that.


Then go away :\

Excellent speech. It has kicks. I already imagine a huge crowd laughing during the last paragraphs .
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#20
I respect your opinion, but to make things a little more clear for what you said, The reason I choose my language, is when i write speeches, I write them not to sound like a formal essay, repeating facts back to the listener, for I found that to be boring. No one wants to sit for six minutes listing to pure facts, so I make it sound more like a person would talk, keeping more interests then if it was indeed just facts being read of a sheet of paper. I find this helps people relate more, and it makes it sound like they are not hearing a lecture, but an opinion on one side of the topic. Western Civilization was only chosen because thats what we are, as "classic" sounding as it is, but I do agree with your statement that contemporary society would fit much better. As for my actually spelling and literal error's, I am just over horribly bad at spelling. As long as I know enough for me to read it, thats all I truely care about.

Thank you greatly on your opinion though, I will take some of your suggestions in consideration when I "re-vamp" so to speak.

Edit: Also as for the jazz joke, That only works for where I live, in an extremely small village less then 1000 people, so with "Jazz" joke will actually work, if it was a different place with more diversity within the music people listen to, i would probably find a different filler to put in there.


Obviously you do not want to sound like a formal essay, i was simply stating that if it is an academic class (as i understand it to be from your first post, though i could be wrong) you should sound, academic. Not boring, not pretentious but also well informed. While your words are, your words your opinion is, in the end the only one that matters and spelling in a speech really doesnt matter. I would however, keep in mind that some conversational tones are simply not acceptable in an academic speech. There is a place between formal essay and informal conversation, and that is where the most interesting (in my oppinion) diction comes from. At the end of the day though, it seems like you know your audience and are probobly going to do very very well.
best of luck, post how it goes.
#21
The "wow, who's left?" like parts don't seem particularly effective (on me at least) mainly because there is a loss in emphasis on that question.

The speech isn't too bad if you fix up the mistakes. When I read it, it seemed quite good until the last two paragraphs because that was the point where I remembered that this speech had to go somewhere. There was a lot of information, maybe too much since the speech could not develop properly.

You mention impacts for a few sentences at the end of major paragraphs when you should at least have a paragraph about the impacts of modern music and a paragraph about your thoughts on the impacts. Instead, most of your speech was a brief description of music between intervals of years with your last few paragraphs going on about your thoughts on music today. You talk about the music popular now, its lyrics and you have the suggestion thing about listening to Hank Williams. If your speech was written to talk about the impacts of modern music on western society, you would've talked about controversies surrounding metal, how music affects social behaviour, dress codes, the evolution or direction on music or something about the effects of modern music on people, not about what music kids should listen to. You last paragraph is suitable although weak. Overall, the speech could take a more overt approach to the issue in my opinion.

What is thesis statement you are trying to make? What is your speech working towards? Those are the things you should think about.

Sorry if I offended you. I don't mean to sound harsh but this is just what I think. If you think otherwise about my comments, I must be missing something, probably the context of the speech.
Last edited by chiselite at Mar 8, 2008,