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#1
pretty self explanatory. I know there are some good ones out there.
1 RULE: It has to be someone elses quote. Dont toot your own horn
I will start out with...

"I smoke alot of pot and play guitar. still not famous though"

"Registered rapists??? Where can I sign up?"
#3
"I'm not racist, Racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."
-Kensai

win.
Quote by Noyon999

They will be on their knees begging for mercy... But The Pit shall have no such mercy and finish them with a "HADOKEN!"


Founder of the Help UG Achieve World Domination group and Vice President of UGtopia
#4
Quote by Chikitty_China
"I'm not racist, Racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."
-Kensai

win.


I laughed so hard
#5
Quote by Hot_Money420
I love that one.


It didnt really come up with anything. sry
#8
*reported*

Not really, I mean I'm not reporting you. But thats the quote. Is it a rule that if you report someone you have to post *reported* or something? Everyone does it. Is it just people's lame attempt to earn kudos with the mods?
We're only strays.
#9
If I remember correctly somebody on here a few years ago came up with the classic

"It's not rape, it's surprise sex!"
Thus sayeth the Lord.

<//////>~
#11
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
*reported*

Not really, I mean I'm not reporting you. But thats the quote. Is it a rule that if you report someone you have to post *reported* or something? Everyone does it. Is it just people's lame attempt to earn kudos with the mods or something?


No... Theres a 2 minute window and if you post 2 minutes after the report your post will eb calssed as spam.

Read t3h rulezz!!11!
#12
Uhh... pretty much everything I've ever said.

Particularly these.

Quote by rabidguitarist
cunt.


Quote by rabidguitarist
slut.


Quote by rabidguitarist
you're an idiot.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#13
Quote by TinPants
I also like, "you are a 14 year old greenday fan, your opinion is void"


It was some days ago. Right? It's full of win.
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#16
I quite like my sigs to be honest.
Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

Quote by human panda
Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#17
Quote by Chikitty_China
"I'm not racist, Racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."
-Kensai

win.

/thread.

We have a winner.
#18
Quote by scoopy_3
Dear Moderators and Zappp

I think I have been a really good influence and very helpful here, and i think it is time i got rewarded. I would be moist grateful if you upgraded me. I really think I can make a difference to this place because I like reporting wrong doers and now I can just talk to them nicely or if he/she is being a bit silly I can ban them. I hope you will consider my application form and I hope to hear from you soon.

PS. I hope to help everyone alot!!!


ROCK ON UG \m/

^ That.
#19
"would you like me to go into your chamber of secrets, hermione?"

or something on those lines... it was a while ago

EDIT: i surrender to the post above... that thread was hilarious
#20
My sig made me laugh for about a day.
Quote by Muphin
Maybe if the Jews were kind to Hitler the holocaust wouldn't have happened.


Hahaha
#21
Quote by bearded_monkey
Quote by Scoopy_3
Dear Moderators and Zappp

I think I have been a really good influence and very helpful here, and i think it is time i got rewarded. I would be moist grateful if you upgraded me. I really think I can make a difference to this place because I like reporting wrong doers and now I can just talk to them nicely or if he/she is being a bit silly I can ban them. I hope you will consider my application form and I hope to hear from you soon.

PS. I hope to help everyone alot!!!


ROCK ON UG \m/
^ That.


+1
Nope, no sig here.
#22
These are abit random but still some of my favourites

"i say we build a temple in honor of dartmaster! it will be made of gold and will be supported by Golliwog-Pear shaped pillars!"

"You are probably the sexiest person on UG "

"jesus. you have amazing eyes"

"you almost look like brad pitt.. but way hotter o.0 "


Theres more id chose but these are ok for now.
#24
I've saved a ton of these in notepad, I'll bring some out...

Quote by Rockford_rocks
I have the same birthday as Jay-Z...

Whooooooo.

Quote by The Leader
The worst thing about necrophilia is that you still have to bring flowers...

Quote by Metallica708
I got way more action when i was like 5 than I have in the last 5 years.


A thread that revolves around Sex;
Quote by esther_mouse
i passed out, lol.

i'm diabetic and all that energy made my blood sugar go very low.

my partner carried on, he thought i was just bored, apparently.

then he realised, and injected glucogen, but didn't think to dress me

Quote by sashki
Once at school, I was in the toilets, when I hear a voice from the next cubicle that says "hey, how are you?" and stuff. I replied, and then he says "I gotta call you back, someone in the next cubicle keeps answering"


The Best One I've Ever Read and Kept:


Not really when i was a kid i was 17, but i was drinking underage and i pulled a hot chick, we went back to her place where we got pretty kinky. half way through the sex i feel something on my ass, i just thought it was her playing with her finger so i let it slide, next thing i know her flatmate is violating my ass with a strap-on. To be honest it wasn't that bad, it was like taking one of those giant shits that feels real good.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#25
"Ureh! Ureh!"

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#26
Quote by maccas666
I'm in 5 people's sig, that means what i say goes

I've got that beat.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#27
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I've got that beat.



I used to be in a ton of sigs, then suddenly everyone at the same time dumped me!


I felt so used! Like I was a hooker and they all split the cost and gangbanged me.
#28
I saw one quote a looooong time ago that was like

"You broke a low E string?

What style do you play, guitar raping noise-core?"

I laughed because I snapped my E string twice
#29
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I've got that beat.


Me too. I'm not sure how many sigs I'm in at the moment though.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#30
Most of the people that had my best quotes don't post anymore.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#31
it has to be the one about the smoke on the water riff being impossible.. im actually laughing so hard just typing that.
#32
Quote by Chikitty_China
"I'm not racist, Racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."
-Kensai

win.



I helped make that quote, he was drunk at the time ( the how to cure hiccups thread) and I called him racist lol.
PANDEMIC GROUP

Slash is trash

I has golfclaps!
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss


Quote by boreamor
Your avatar is the first thing that has made me laugh in a long time. I applaud you


Quote by superslash1994
Lmao, your avatar earns you a golf clap.
.
#33
Quote by swordsrkewl
I helped make that quote, he was drunk at the time ( the how to cure hiccups thread) and I called him racist lol.


Don't try and take credit for the fact that Kensai is cooler than you.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#36
Quote by just17n8
say hello for me in FOTB samtotman

Why? It's the Lol Wut pears mexican cousin, and, as far as I can recall, it's not bannable

In fact, yea, he's gonna get banned.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#37
Quote by just17n8
say hello for me in FOTB samtotman

he is so ****ed. mexican hats do not make the pear any less offensive to the moderators...
#39
lol, I coulda swore that ****ing **** gets your ****ing dumbass banned........yeah I guess excessive swearing does do. damn it all
#40
NO ALCIE
NO SALMON.

There.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
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