#1
This song's structure is different. It goes chorus, bridge, chorus, and THEN verse stuff. Let me know if it works. C4C

reverse this atrophy
make life the way it was supposed to be
make my aging hopes a reality
before they leave me

can you reshape me?
can you take from me?
those things i don't want to be
like the smoke, blackens the blue sky
over this life looking up
will i survive?
will these fires subside in time?

reverse this atrophy
make life the way it was supposed to be
make my aging hopes a reality
before they leave me

the distance grows greater
a new day, another step

the heart of failure
beating ever stronger
birth to life without wings
what can i change?
can i yet leave the cage?
or will this be a life spent dying?
We're only strays.
#3
I like the questions theme as well but I believe they were slightly overused. Asking questions is always a very passionate and connective way to write lyrics, but I find its best if you answer at least one of those questions with a straight up answer. Not a metaphoric one, not one that takes endless studying to retrieve. Something that hits you in the face. You then surprise the audience then with that answer. Instead of them having to ponder all the time, you have the nice additive of an answer to one of many complicated queries.
#4
Quote by AngryGoldfish
I like the questions theme as well but I believe they were slightly overused. Asking questions is always a very passionate and connective way to write lyrics, but I find its best if you answer at least one of those questions with a straight up answer. Not a metaphoric one, not one that takes endless studying to retrieve. Something that hits you in the face. You then surprise the audience then with that answer. Instead of them having to ponder all the time, you have the nice additive of an answer to one of many complicated queries.


Good point. I think I actually have another song that does that. I'll be sure to post it if I do.
We're only strays.