#1
Cutting the Strings of Fate
Family ties and a fatal romance
Day turn dusk during my dark trance
In street light’s light I surrender this fight
No more can I keep this within

Shit’ve gone wrong yet I’ve lived it down
But in the dark of my heart I have let me drown
And the me I knew has since faded away
And I realize I must now…

Cut-cut-cut the strings of fate
End-end-end this life of hate
Drown-drown-drown all misery and pain
Suicide while I’m still sane

A crashing tide; suicide
Whiskey-dope is my cyanide
So I drink up and I shoot in
And my life of addiction begin

I can’t forgive my weakness
Too proud for a scream of distress
And in the twilight light of my violated, shattered life
I will now give up and…

Cut-cut-cut the strings of fate
End-end-end this life of hate
Drown-drown-drown all misery and pain
Suicide while I’m still sane

Cut-cut-cut the strings of fate
End-end-end this life of hate
Drown-drown-drown all misery and pain
Suicide while I’m still sane


The lyrics for one of the songs on UG United.
#2
The concept and generally I think the emotion of the song come through quite clear, but there are some cliches in there that could be recycled into some brilliant stuff. I don't personally like the chorus rhyme scheme, I'm partial to more developed patterns/techniques. Thats just me, but maybe if you tried switching around some rhymes in the chorus to make them a little less straight forward, it'd play up the repeating words you use (cut-cut-cut, end-end-end). I think one of those aspects of the chorus needs to change - the repeated words or the basic rhyme scheme.
We're only strays.