#1
Hey, just wrote this last night, wanted to get some opinions on it. This isn't the first song that I've written but close to it. It doesn't have a chorus and I'm still debating over whether I want to incorporate one or leave it as is.

Constructive criticism Please!

Dark Hands

Dark hands scrape the cracking dawn
Thin glaze draping dimmed eyes
Tragedies of the soundless mind now gone
I know she's gone but still I try

Night's clouded eyes awaken too soon
Lovers end as lovers began
These mysteries to me are shown
Grief finds me as I've found them

Fear of joy and loss of hope
Veil of smiles hiding secret wounds
No drug can help me cope
A midday yet, I'll see her soon

Dawn spills into endless night
Dragging me down