#1
Peace.

Skipping stones down my grandfather's old driveway,
but it could of been anyone's house or any old grandfather.
Only father figures we ever had really; his stories of bear baiting,
amputation, 'roids and cheats. His friends were gone,
Lost themselves in the wars or just chose to forget to follow their breadcrumbs
Back home. He didn't talk much about them, just about the things they did.

He said Jimmy had swam with the sharks before Irwin was even born
He said Clara, the old broad in that picture over their had trained
To be the best swing dancer this side of the columbia,
He said that if we, my sister and I, tried hard enough, we could accomplish
the impossible.

When he was three days away from dying
He said that he had gone to the moon with apollo, and
Climbed everest with a puma, and would
Die in peace.

That night I took out my pencil and panda comp book and wrote:
"Yea, he'll die
and, I'll take his stories
As my own, just like
He breathed life into
the dead
and the never born."

Peace.
#2
it seemed more of a short story than a song....no offense.....0nly cause it seems like there is no music that would fit that that i can think of. it would be a good free form poem also. idk...if it were me id work on making it flow smoother
#3
A great free poem. It conveyed a lot of meaning in a few short lines. Everybody grows up with their grandfather's stories, and I think you captured the essence perfectly.
#4
if it was a free verse poem or poem it kicked ass, if not it kinda sucks cuz i can't imagine it being anything other than a country song

C4C: Hey You(me?)
Just because I play the drums doesn't mean I suck at guitar, or ams that I's iz stoopidz.


Space that ain't yours
#5
I liked it, I could see you spontaneously prosing it at midnight - sad memories spiced with Jim Beam. Lovely nostalgia to this piece, makes me recall memories I don't even have, which I hope was what you were aiming for.
#6
I thought this was my favorite line:
but it could of been anyone's house or any old grandfather.

I like this a lot because I think it's a very interesting concept. I see some identity related content that could possibly emerge from this. Maybe you'll want to expand on it more.
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