#1
if half finished lines 4ndh4lf b4ked thoughts could tell you how i feel
they d fill ur he4d with thoughts of me thinking of you thinking of me
thinking up 4nother s4d 4ttemp 4t 4 song
th4t i ll sum up now by s4ying

hey hey you
with the bright smile
4nd those big eyes
come over here cuz i've gott4 surprise
i w4nn4 tell u how i feel 4bout the possibility of u 4nd i

it m4kes my he4rt r4ce 4nd b34t f4ster
keeping p4ce with my he4d 4s my mind st4rts to r4ce
with toughts of u 4nd i
4nd us 4nd how we
msy never b together
but hey hey listen ulp
girl with smile 4nd big brown eyes
i''m not giving up i'll try till i surprise u


Okay done, plz don't laff at my L337 a's/4's i'm typing this on a wii and my usb keyboards A is broke

Edit: oh yea **** i'll totally fo C4C if u tell wat song
Just because I play the drums doesn't mean I suck at guitar, or ams that I's iz stoopidz.


Space that ain't yours
Last edited by majonior at Mar 11, 2008,
#2
^

lol, I looked at the 4s and thought this wasn't going to be serious
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#3
well it's a serious attempt but the song itself is kinda meant to b playful and pretencious
Just because I play the drums doesn't mean I suck at guitar, or ams that I's iz stoopidz.


Space that ain't yours
#4
i like how you repeated the mentioning of eyes and smile at the start and end.

i like how it flows. i like the senario you have where your telling a girl how you feel.
i usually get nevouse and rush my words, and this flows like it was actually happening.

i like how you compare the heart racing, with the mind racing.

the spelling and fours are annoying. but yeh, the wii.

crit mine if you could.
its called "the pain of love"
#5
I liked it more when I thought the 4s were intentional, but hey. It's good.