#1
Lyrics to my new song Fields of Clover. Still writing the verse riffs and bridge instrumentals, so you can just ignore those if you'd like.

(Chorus:
The Fire is burning
the field of clover

Desire is yearning
and taking over

The waters keep churning
As life passes over)


Oh how do we stand to feel,
The oppression of the puppeteer

He cracks his whip
Yet fails to bring a tear

The lonely wolf he calls,
In search of a long lost career

The strings they snap to pieces
The fish no longer tremble with fear

Chorus

The watcher thinks they are mad
Silently waiting for a young lad

Only fire now scorches the land
The master merely waves his hand

A body, frail appears at shore
But the sign of a soldier he now wore

Seemingly hopeless, seemingly failed
The puppeteer merely conceded

Bridge (instrumental)

The fires they burn tonight…
They light up the night sky…
The green now fading
The countryside now red…

More Bridge (instrumental)
More Bridge ^^
Chorus (repeat till end)


Brownie points to whoever can decipher the meaning :P
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...
#2
For the life of me I cannot figure out which very recent movie you got the title from.
[/sarcasm]
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
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#4
Btw, i never saw that movie, and has nothing to do with song. I started the idea before i had ever even heard of it. Thnx winter for the feedback.
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...
#5
shda-bump
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...
#6
the rhyme you use in this is so basic and repetitive that it makes it hard to read. i know that these are lyrics and when writing lyrics you try to make them so they are easy to sing, you can do that though, but expand your rhyme scheme. you dont need to stick to basic structures. step completely outside your comfort zone and write something down and see what happens.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=809160
my piece^
#7
I know exactly what you mean rushmore. I made the rhyme scheme pretty basic, because in our band the vocals (me singing) are understandable, as if when I sing you can easily understand what im saying. So i was writing the lyrics with some flow and rhymes so that it would go great with the riffs I wrote for it. You know, like how Hotel California goes. Nice rhymes, nice flow, easy to sing. This was by no means my attempt at a hit, however :P. I can easily write a more complex song. Btw, your piece is awesome. Keep up the good work.
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...
#8
i like it though it is a bit repetitive with the rhymes. The lyrics are good escpecialy the part after the first bridge
#9
Thnx deciever! and yeah, and my second draft im adding another verse and changing the rhyme scheme, as thats been the main complaint :P
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...
#10
bump
Eschquipment:
Epiphone SG400
Peavy Vypr 30 watt
Dean Vendetta XM

and thats about it...