#1
This is my first song that I've ever written. I hope you like it :3

First Verse:

The creation
of my perfection
has failed

My life as I know it
has begun to fade

No more this pain
of reality

If I will ever
Be sane, again

*Speaking*: What they'll someday create, has already been lost


Chorus:

These nails within me
Have started to break through
Once more I will shatter
But this time it's all
Because of you

These thorns within me
Have started to shred my skin
Once more I will collapse
But this time it's all
Because of you

Second Verse

Another test, another misery
I have tried, I have failed
This is the end of sanity

For why I never reach the end
For why I've never felt remorse
The truth has been denied
Over and over again

*Again speaking*: What they wanted to create, has been lost forever


Chorus:

These nails within me
Have started to break through
Once more I will shatter
But this time it's all
Because of you

These thorns within me
Have started to shred my skin
Once more I will collapse
But this time it's all
Because of you


Breakdown:

What did they say
When I woke up from the dream
The illusion you wanted to create just for me

Where they scared, were they mortified?
When I came to sacrifice something of their own
The thing
That they call life

Chorus:

These nails within me
Have started to break through
Once more I will shatter
But this time it's all
Because of you

These thorns within me
Have started to shred my skin
Once more I will collapse
But this time it's all
Because of you


Please leave a comment!
#2
Where they scared, were they mortified?
When I came to sacrifice something of their own
The thing
That they call life

witht his stanza i think it would flow better if you made line two into two lines breaking off after sacrifice. also line 3 and 4 into one line.

if you got a minute check out mine link in sig
#3
Thank you for your advice. I really liked your lyrics, they're so original :3 Keep up the good work!