So I'm in a band with my friend. We've been together for a while but just started practicing a few weeks ago because I finally decided to tell him that he's been "getting **** together" for too long and it's about time we get together and jam. We've practiced twice so far, and both times I had to schedule it. We don't even have a drummer. I took on the responsibility of finding one because I know he's probably not going to.

I have no doubt that he is serious about music, but his "just tell me when to be there" attitude isn't good enough for me. I don't mind being the leader, but I don't want to be completely in control. I let him choose the cover songs we're doing, and it's mostly him that runs things during practice, which probably isn't a good idea because we end up playing our best song like 20 times and the others 2 or 3 times each. I feel like I have to take control of everything but I really don't want to, and I'm barely managing to keep the band together because of that.

Is there any way I can motivate him to really want to get together and play, at least to the point where he'll start asking me when our next practice is?
Get a bag of bunnies. Every time he tries to take control the band... Snap a bunnies neck. For everytime he tells you to tell him when to be there.. test out if bunnies can swim in the blood of their kind (which you have already murdered before his eyes.. emptied out and filled a big pool of blood).. for added comic effect.. see if bunny can swim in the blood of their kind with no arms.

Seriously man, tell him your concerns head on and if hes serious about music and the band then he should listen to what youre saying, and try to change for the better. If he doesnt, he may not be right for the band. I say give it a few more jam sessions and see how it goes.

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Everybody Loves Lefty..

Lefties Unite!

Melodic Thrash Metal and winners of the Wacken Metal Battle Canada and 2nd Place Runner Ups for Wacken Metal Battle International

Yeah don't be surprised if you have to part ways dude, I've learnt the hard way in the past that people who really want to make something out of music, do not need to be pushed, they're usually born wanting to do it, but yeah like gio says don't give up on him without another couple of jams first
Being a band leader is slightly more involved than simply organising things. You also need to know how to get the best out of your band members. Everyone is different and has different motivations. One person, you may have to shout at them, another, you may have to treat them with kid gloves and wrap them up in cotton wool.
This guy sounds like he just needs nudging now and again. Like f'rinstance, in rehearsals, nudge him into playing all your stuff equally.
As for the rest, he just sounds pretty laid back to me and I think you may be getting uptight about your position.
Sit down, relax and listen.
Every band idealy needs a leader, so far, that would appear to be you.
When a band has a leader, it then idealy needs people who will listen to the leader and say things like "just tell me when to be there" because believe me, that's a lot better than ''Uh, I may have a problem with that.''
Stop worrying about it, relax and just get on with it, and once you both get into a routine together you'll soon find that everything seems to be running pretty smoothly.
Do not get stressed, stress kills bands. But do have a look into delegation, it may be useful.
Honestly, being a band leader is easy... once you train and condition the rest of the band.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Mar 14, 2008,