Poll: whats the best type of lube for this situation
Poll Options
View poll results: whats the best type of lube for this situation
vaseline
24 25%
durex
12 13%
sanity cream
8 8%
value vegetable oil
52 54%
Voters: 96.
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#1
a few days ago i was walking back from the college toilets, were i saw a neon card saying

"wanted for a drink. pretty girl, gave me directions to f block. does not know her left from her right. Rob 00090099090"

so, some other guys saw it and baught it down. they decided to text him on monday, under the name of sofi. he replied saying:

"hi mystery woman. how are you? sorry i only just got your msg - v slack of me - apologies i was a an auction. random i know! do u still fancy a drink sometime? from rob'

so we respnded. he came back with

"hi sophia, great to know know your name, im rob (ert). will defo leet u know asap about time and date - looknig forwards to it. wheres good for you to meet? rob"

this knda thing contined til last night, when he sent this wierd animal smilie (quote grahem: oi dont like it,make it stop")

and ben just sent an email asking to meet at the local pub at 1 o cloc today ffor a drink and a chat.

we're gonna get raped :S

so, any similar stories, and stuff?


update:

we just got a text from the dude asking if we can make it later.

ben replied with:

half good for you then? dont mind waiting a while. looking forwards to it x
Last edited by slann101 at Mar 13, 2008,
#2
Just make sure you have lots of lube...
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#8
Quote by Minkaro
He has the easiest number to remember, ever.

And do you realise you're standing between him and his epic reunion with his one true love?


that wasnt tyhe real number. and i know, i do kinda feel bad about that...
#10
Quote by slann101
we responded...a group of guys...


More fun for him then!

You all will have sore asses in the morning.

Very... Very sore asses.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#11
just go.
Quote by Minkaro
He has the easiest number to remember, ever.

And do you realise you're standing between him and his epic reunion with his one true love?

and jack off jill wanted you in another thread about some guy thinking he has aids. 4 teh lulz.
#14
Quote by slann101
ei but its me with the carpi at the moment aint it




Quote by Phoenix-Kun
yeahhh....lube works....though my roomate tried hand sanitizer...




Thus ends another smilie-exclusive post.
#16
Sorry...

Might wanna text him and sort of telling him the truth. Otherwise, he will fist-rape you.
#17
Quote by webbtje
Sorry...

Might wanna text him and sort of telling him the truth. Otherwise, he will fist-rape you.


Yeah, you gonna wanna use a lot of lube for that... Im not talking from experience...

>_>

<_<
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#19
...or hand sanitizer, seriously, my gay roomate tried it....he says it worked, but he DID walk around oddly after that day...
#20
Quote by Phoenix-Kun
...or hand sanitizer, seriously, my gay roomate tried it....he says it worked, but he DID walk around oddly after that day...



Wouldn't that just... sting?
#22
Poor guy.
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#23
eat him
Quotes from other UGers in your signatures that talk about how good you are suck donkey schlong.
#25
Haha, you're all going to get raped.
It's prolly fun doing that though. Not the raping, but joking w someone like that.
♥xx♥

#26
Quote by Phoenix-Kun
he said it did but after the first few mins he couldn't tell anymore

either from pleasure or agonizing pain?

to its allex: yes...you are UG'S woman on woman rape expert :P


and i liiiiike lol
#27
well....considering, i hear everything.....and the guy was apparently well-endowed....i think it was an inability to discrimate the pain from pleasure
#30
Quote by slann101

to its allex: yes...you are UG'S woman on woman rape expert :P


and i liiiiike lol


-is 100% straight-

Heheheheee gay boys♥
♥xx♥

#34
Hey arent you the ones who has tricked HIM? So technically that makes you the most likely to be the rapers, and him the rapie.....

I would recommed durex lube for this situation, the one in the blue bottle, the silky one whatever its called. The other types are too sticky and it can get annoying.
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
Man it feels just like anal sex, I think; I'm still a virgin

Quote by nebiru
Goose is my Hero.

Quote by Xeus
Yeah, if you get the shag in before she's your legal sister the incest is over turned
#35
lol.....he had a 4'11 deaf boyfriend named juan....and they were in a room alone....wiht his close friend matt....oh god the noises....
#36
Quote by GooseMcShred
Hey arent you the ones who has tricked HIM? So technically that makes you the most likely to be the rapers, and him the rapie.....

I would recommed durex lube for this situation, the one in the blue bottle, the silky one whatever its called. The other types are too sticky and it can get annoying.


When he realises he was tricked he will get angry and like the hulk change into an insanely angry monster and go on a raping spree...

... They are going to be sore in the morning.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#37
wat the **** u guys must hav a lotta tym on ur hands
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#38
You all gonna get widened.

Quote by Saffron_Inferno
wat the **** u guys must hav a lotta tym on ur hands


Almost as much time as it took you to learn how to spell and to bypass the swearing filter.
#39
Quote by Guitardude19
When he realises he was tricked he will get angry and like the hulk change into an insanely angry monster and go on a raping spree...

... They are going to be sore in the morning.


Yeah to the thread starter i recommend pre-inserting a lubed condom into your own ass lol.

This guy is gonna get so mad hes gonna rape you immediately.

Quote by Darth_Qurashi
Man it feels just like anal sex, I think; I'm still a virgin

Quote by nebiru
Goose is my Hero.

Quote by Xeus
Yeah, if you get the shag in before she's your legal sister the incest is over turned
#40
Quote by webbtje


Almost as much time as it took you to learn how to spell and to bypass the swearing filter.

thanks webbtje. hey, its college

Quote by GooseMcShred
Yeah to the thread starter i recommend pre-inserting a lubed condom into your own ass lol.

This guy is gonna get so mad hes gonna rape you immediately.



ill pass that tip to the other three :P
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