#1
I had her bent over her bed and I warmed her up with my fingers.
I shoved my hard prick in the wet mess and started slow.
She fingered it as I fucked it.
To my right was a large dresser mirror which gave a view of everything.
I admired my stomach flab smacking against her ass,
Flexed muscles,
Slapped her,
Made eye contact with my reflection.
"I'm your man, sweetie."
"Oh yeah...oh, yeah..."
I gained momentum and could feel the semen at the tip.
I should really start wearing protection.
I shouldn't be this eager to jump into this.
"I'm all you need."
"Oh fuck yeah...yes...oh yeah.."
I clasped her sides and began pushing as hard as I could.
She kept her fingers in the whole time.
Gasps and moans and gropes and sighs and sweats and sweets and yelps.
"I'm an oil man, baby."
"Drill me....drill me..."
I pulled out to explore the high road and she lost it.
Felt it out, rammed it in.
Brown gold.
"I'm a train conductor, sweetie."
"Ride me....oh yeah...."
It was over in flash, whirlwind and heat.
I spun her around, grabbed her hair and pulled her head back to
position her as a pelican waiting for a fish to drop in it's mouth.
I forced my cock into her skull and shot down her throat.
"I am the Heaven and the Earth. I'm Hell and it's rivers. I'm criminal and executioner.
I've transcended the human race towards a life that doesn't resemble Hell. I'll give you life and I'll just as easily take it away. My fluids run your body. Your heart needs me to beat. Your blood needs me to flow. You'll swallow as much of me as I want you to, for to understand the extent of my divinity, you must put a part of me inside you, honey. Swallow. Sip it up. Drain it dry. Embrace this evolution and go to sleep. A nice breakfast awaits you in the morning."
Poor advice.
#7
^Fuck you, fuck everyone who posts in this, fuck poetry and fuck the presidential election.


One day everything will be fine I guess.
Sure as shit ain't today.
I'm going to bed....do with this what you want you guitar playing Pop-Punk and Classic Rock loving 14 year old zit faced awkward he-men.
Poor advice.
#8
I like the raw emotion of this...nothing sugarcoated here, which I always have a problem with in my writing. And honestly Randy, you shouldn't give too much a **** what we say...all that matter is how good this is to you, if it makes you feel more whole after writing it, than great.

I guess overall my sin is that I really envy your raw-ness.
#9
Not to get at you... but i've noticed often that if someone says they don't like your piece you get all pissy... if you don't want stupid comments or people just to say 'i don't get it' then don't post. If you want just a select few people to read and comment, then do whatever and email it to them or something. Everyone can express their opinion... at least respect it, whether you agree with it or not.

I don't get why you started swearing when someone just says 'Vital Beach, it says'.

You might have been being sarcastic and I'm just making a douche of myself, but c'mon...

As for the piece, I sat here mouth slightly agape in disgust. You might've been going for that response, who knows. This didn't really feel poetic, bar the pelican line which I thought was good. The last paragraph thing creeped me out a bit.

I'm looking for deeper meaning and the most sensical thing I can think of is that this is a religious piece bagging on Christianity.

Meh.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#10
It is somewhat of a religous piece but it isn't bagging on Christianity.


And honestly, unhelpful comments are just a pet peeve of mine and nothing more. That comment was sarcasm, I honestly didn't care.
Poor advice.
#12
Well I can say I was expecting a shorter punch-line.

This big one hit me pretty hard.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#13
WTF is this... its describing sex, nothing poetic i can see is there, the most interesting part i can see is the font.
I feel alone as people seem to like it but it seems pointless to me, looks like a voiceover for a porno which is trying to drag in a blind audience...
Light touch my hand, in a dream of Golden Skans, from now on.
You can forget our future plans.