#1
I posted this song on my profile a while back. I got some really good feedback on the mix and a lot of compliments (that I really appreciated! Thanks)

I promised to post another version once I had brought the bass down a little, turned up the second guitar, and added the vocal melody. The melody is played by a guitar, because there were no lyrics written... just an idea. My buddy added that part and I dig it. I went in an mixed the hell out of it... then remastered it.

Check my profile for "Why Won't You (Updated with melody)" to hear the new version. "Why Won't You (instrumental)" is the old version.
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/zeroyon/

The song title is actually changing into "After All" because it started working its way out in the melody in my head. "After all this time" something or other.

C4C, of course. Please link me to your threads and I will return the favor. Enjoy!
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#2
This is fantastic. You're planning on putting vocals overtop of it? Cause I'd be interested in hearing what it sounds like at that point as well. Like I said, though, it's really well done. I like the melody (it provides a huge improvement over the original version) and the production quality is fantastic. Everything is balanced nicely and can be heard clearly. Great work.
crit mine if you get the chance? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=812183
#3
Yeah, its supposed to have vocals. I'm just shy on the mic, and haven't decided to ask anyone else if they'd be interested in singing on it.

I'd like to give it a try, but like I explained on your thread, my apartment walls are paper thin. I sound like an idiot yelling into the microphone in a silent apartment. This makes me sing quiet, and then it sucks.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#4
Quote by zeroyon
Yeah, its supposed to have vocals. I'm just shy on the mic, and haven't decided to ask anyone else if they'd be interested in singing on it.

I'd like to give it a try, but like I explained on your thread, my apartment walls are paper thin. I sound like an idiot yelling into the microphone in a silent apartment. This makes me sing quiet, and then it sucks.
Ditto. You should try singing it yourself, though.. I'm shy on the mic as well and it's because for the longest time I'd just write songs for other people and opt out of singing them myself. Until I realized that most people were butchering the songs and they'd be better off if I was actually singing them. Like you said, though, breathing properly is an issue for me at this point..
#6
Thanks!

It's a great example of what can happen when you collaborate with someone and connect on some level. The two of us have very different ideas of what will sound good, but we can work together really well.

This song started out as a simple single note melody I was kicking around for a week or two. When my friends heard it, they suggested I do something with it. I then wrote the wah'ed out part after the intro. I based all of the other parts off of that, and it turned into a song. TJ wrote the fast guitar parts and the high melodies.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#7
Thanks for your crit on my music!

This very very nice. I really like the rhythm to it. It sounds crazy good. Tone on the guitars are sick. I really like it. It doesn't get repetitive either! Keeps you guessing. Very nice quality, also. Add vocals and you've got yourself a really solid song!

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#8
The tone and quality is great. Very well written song as well, it'll be good to hear vocals put over the top too.
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#10
Nice, thank you all!

Did anyone hear the original when I posted it like a month ago and now see this one? I'm curious to hear your criticism on my improvements. (the original is the last one on my profile)
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#11
Fantastic!
Absolutely fantastic.
The lead during the verses just sounds amazing, and it gives the song sucha different feel.
Plus, very solid drumming too.
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#12
Hey, first off thanks for the crit!
Now to the important stuff...
I loved it. It reminded me of like a heavier Joe Satriani kind of song. It was really cool, really well put together. The recording quality was great, and everything sort of fit together. Guitar work was superb, no mistakes. Like I said it reminded me a bit of Satriani. I also enjoyed the bass towards the end where it started getting crazy haha. It was pretty good and quite impressive to be honest. Nice job overall!
#13
Cool stuff. It is very well mixed and produced so full marks for that.

It reminds me of Pearl Jam with the guitar in the verses and stuff and then the chorus and interlude section is very CoB-ish to me. Nice vocal line over the top, that would sound pretty sweet i think with vox. Awesome bass sound too.

The drums sound good, sounds like FL or Reason, im guessing.

I think when this has vocals added this will be something pretty amazing.
Flap it and enjoy yourself...

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#14
Wow, Joe Satriani and Pearl Jam? It really interesting to hear the different things that others pick up on.

I imagine the Satch comparison is because of the high lead tones? They give it that 80's hair metal feel (just a little)

I actually don't like Pearl Jam.. and I don't see the parallel, but I'm glad you found something in there that made a connection for you. If anything, I would say the verses rhythm section is in the style of Tool but sped up a little. Once TJ laid the high melody over it with his Strat, it changed the whole tone. I was thinking something much less melodic, but he picked up on something I couldn't hear. (and I'll be damned, it works well!)

Again, collaboration opens doors you never imagined.

It's nice to see someone noticed TJ's bassline in the bridge. He had to spend a little while figuring out how to play that line that fast on a 5 String bass standard tuned. The open notes are all C's, so hitting the C on the bass meant he had to fret every note. It turned into some weird daddy long legs looking hand position and some furious movements to make it work. I think if the bridge were any longer, that riff would just wear him out.

I should post a clip of the bass without anything else on it, its pretty amazing. (hence the reason I left it cranked in the original recording - but everyone told me to back it off, so I did)
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#15
Not my favorite type of music, but still a great recording over all. Great mixing and layering.
#16
this has a really cool feel to it. the drums were good. i liked the groove! good stuff, not much to crit. could you add vocals?
Too cool for a signature.
#17
Thanks for the crit!


Cool recording. All instruments came through very clearly, and with vocals this could become a really great tune. Can't really think of anything to improve.
#18
WHY IS IT SO SHORT?!

This sounds really good, I love the bass playing. How about making the intro a bit longer? The transition on 0:18 sounds a bit odd to me... I hope you can add vocals to this, it'll be even more awesome.
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#20
Quote by Mky
WHY IS IT SO SHORT?!

This sounds really good, I love the bass playing. How about making the intro a bit longer? The transition on 0:18 sounds a bit odd to me... I hope you can add vocals to this, it'll be even more awesome.



It's so short because thats how I wanted it. It's quick to the point and in your face, then its over. It makes you want to listen again.

Longer intro... hmm... at only 2 and a 1/2 minutes, I thought a longer intro would sound odd.

The bass is pretty gritty on this, and TJ is a world-class player... making the bassline really grab you. He's the bass player for After Midnight Project. (if you haven't heard, you need to look them up on myspace - these guys will be coming to a radio near you very soon)
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#21
Quote by Anose_Broken
woah dude this is hot i like this

i like your vocals too


Sweet, thanks! Oh wait, what vocals?
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#22
There is a lot of potential in this song. It's quite good. Maybe slightly put down the delay in the intro. But other than that it's really cool (honest!)!
#23
You didn't think the delay was cool? I suppose it sort of misleads you as the song is beginning, you don't know where its headed.

I'm afraid it would just sound a little weak without it. However, there are a couple synths there to fill it out.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
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#24
The melody that the guitars start playing around fourty seconds in is excellent. I love the accompanying riff as well. The more frantic part about a minute and a half in is also very good..... some very good licks throughout. Also, the tone of the guitars is very good. Very heavy..... what are you ruinnin'?
#25
90% of the song is played on my Squier '51 that I modified the hell out of. It's on my profile if you look at my equipment/pics. It's a basswood body, maple neck, dual PAF's, hardtail with a graph tech nut.

The high melody was played on an older MIM Squier Strat with single coils.

The bass is a Warwick 5 string, active pickups and all.

The recording was done with a POD XT into a mixer and M-audio sound card at my friend's place. We use Sonar and Reason.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#26
Kickass song man. Good riffs and melody, throw some vocals on this track, this song is a winner.
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#27
Thats pretty friggen sick. It reminds of like Disturbed, but a hell of a lot better lol. The bassline's pretty groovy too. Awesome stuff! I would like to see it longer, and possibly with vocals. Its one of those songs that could go either way, but would sound awesome with vocals during the "refrain/chorus"
#28
wow, im very impressed man, awesome feel to it. i like the groove a lot. if i wasnt in such a hurry i'd check out the other ones, why wont you def needs some voice tho
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#29
Quote by xero1123
Thats pretty friggen sick. It reminds of like Disturbed, but a hell of a lot better lol. The bassline's pretty groovy too. Awesome stuff! I would like to see it longer, and possibly with vocals. Its one of those songs that could go either way, but would sound awesome with vocals during the "refrain/chorus"



Wow, Disturbed? Thanks.

Sorry I missed these responses, thanks guys!

I'm working on another one right now, hopefully will post soon.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music