#1
This is a song ive been working on for a while now.
its about a recent break up i went through with a girl i was dating for 3 and a half years. I've thrown in symbols here and there, so it is somewhat symbolic of the relationship. The first verse represents when we were dating and how i would like her back, and the rest of the song is about the breakup

constructive criticism is always welcome!!

2 Years Gone, 10 Years Later

the verses are played clean, then add a little bit of distortion for first two choruses and bridge, then add quite a bit of distortion for the last chorus

Verse 1:

i watched the sun, come up around us, as we laid in bed
i held you close, to hear your heartbeat, as you whispered in my ear
you said "please dont", "please dont leave me"and i said i never would
so here i am now, singing my plea, please consider if you could

Main Chorus:

do you remember
when we were young
and we laid out in this
empty meadow

well here we are
ten years later
will you feel the same
way you did that night

Verse 2:

i watched the city, glow with fire, and burn up to the sky
i saw the fear, rain down upon you, and shoot into your eyes
i watched the skyline, as it drew closer, to bury me again
i watched the sun, go down around me, as i laid alone in bed

and as i lay here, please don't forget me, i swear i didn't know
that this one song, will be the last thing, you hear before you go
**guitar riff to fill up the extra two counts before going into the chorus**

Main Chorus:

do you remember
when we were young
and we laid out in this
empty meadow

well here we are
ten years later
will you feel the same
way you did that night

Bridge:

**no words, but has the guitar riff from second verse along with two other guitars playing riffs that blend well together**

Last Chorus w/ distortion:

[do you remember
when we were young
and we laid out in this
empty meadow

well here we are
ten years later
will you feel the same
way you did that night]

[I know its broken
but i can fix this
just give me time
and i know ill make it

i know you want this
i can sense it
if you let me
i can make it better]

[all i wanted
all i needed
was to have you
right here next to me

but now you're gone
and im left standing
all alone in this
burning city]

[come back to me
im still waiting
you never told me
that you were leaving

we kissed goodbye
sunday night
**monday morning**
you were gone for good]

**this line can either be as it is or i could use "next thing i know". i just liked how the "monday morning line plays in with the "sunday night" to show how she dumped me out of the blue, we weren't arguing or anything**

i was thinking about playing the last chorus as is, then have over lapping vocals sing each count of the last chorus (each count is separated by "[" and"]"). just an idea im working with

like i said

constructive criticism is always welcome, and very much appreciated. the rhythm may seem hard to understand just by looking at the words, but with guitar and drums it flows pretty nicely
#2
i think the conceptual idea is really creative and you did a good job, id be interested to hear it once you put it to music
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#3
"Bridge:

**no words, but has the guitar riff from second verse along with two other guitars playing riffs that blend well together**"

I don't think thats called a bridge. I think thats called a guitar solo. nice song though overall. kind of sad man.