Wrote this after listening to some bullet for my valentine hehe. Hope its good. I personally like the intro . I'm also up for suggestions c4c
Denied Rejection.zip
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Last edited by Jonathan Trejo at Mar 17, 2008,
The intro/verse is very good, and sounds a lot like bullet for my vallentine.
Pre-chorus is pretty cool.
The chorus i did not like the first time i heard it, but then it came again and i gotta say, its awsome.
The transition you always use with the diving gets old, once or twice is enough for a thing like that.
Towards the end it all gets very repetitive, you need new riffs here or youll kill the song.
Its a good song so far, but change it up a little further on, if thats not the end which i hope its not, couse then you got a very sucky ending.

couse youve already critted my latest, go for some of the otherones.
lol i will lol... Im guna change it up a bit as u said. And also im guna add an interlude and a solo then close it up. Its only been the first day so expect another update with the included things.
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Well this was pretty nice, although I don't listen to metalcore. There was nothing wrong with it, but nothing bad about it either, it's just your typical metalcore song. I think you could have been a bit more original though, because the whole minor thing gets a little boring after a while (especially in metalcore, thats why I don't listen to it). But how the hell are you supposed to play bars 50-53 ? I personally thought the chorus sounded a little annoying, but that could just be me. Overall it was pretty good.
Last edited by Pingis_Or_Death at Mar 17, 2008,
lol what! thats not a crit.. thats a rating and might i say u havent given constructive critisism to anyone. Post some of your work and ill give u some critisism! till then re download the thing since i uploaded a new version and crit the song right!. Thnx just to let u know things like that will get u banned
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The intro + verse is good. I don't know if this sounds like bullet for my valentine because i don't listen it. But back to your song
Prechorus is nice, but I'm just wondering that how the hell it's supposed to be played.
Chorus is good also, even tho I don't really like this kind of music.
The ending... what the f*ck happened ? I hope your not gonna leave it like that
To the people wondering how to play the Pre-Chorus (bars 51-53, for example), all I can say to you is get better! Rather, work on your stretches a bit, and some odd finger placements. I was able to play it just fine.

ANYHOO.. It seemed well enough, though repetitive. The transition you have - I'm assuming the old version was diving, and now it's all that quarter, quarter, half - or some other "tragic" effect. I didn't pay too much attention to it. But, it got old.

Really, anything like a break, or a lick, or a solo, or .. anything, really. It's good enough, but it's really repetitive.
Nice acoustic lick in the intro.

You should take the let rings off for the distortion part, imo.

Nice acoustic verse again. I didn't really like it ht much with distortion though.

Um, are there suppossed to be no drums later on in the song?

I'll be honest, the progression for the chorus gets a little repetetive after a while.

But overall that was okay I guess. I give it a 7/10 so far. Let's finish it up.
I'm a person.
Well, the song was ok, it could use a little work though.

In the intro I think you should change the A to a C# in bar 2 and every other bar like it, otherwise, it kinda sounds off with the chord progression. The next riff was good, but please just take off the let ring thing, it bugged the heck outta me. Verse was ok, but the bass sounded horribly out of key, so please fix that, and put in a drumbeat there too. Pre-chorus was ok, a little too short though, and I didn't really like the octave slide thing in bar 51, just use the higher note. Rest was good, just don't end it that way. Put in a solo or something after the last chorus you had there. I could really tell this was influenced by BFMV, it sounded a lot like tears don't fall haha. Keep workin on it man