#1
I made a mistake
Yet my heart still beats
I'm only human
Why should I suffer such a cold hearted defeated?

I was blind by self deception
Possessor of an uneven perception
You didn't know, no you didn't
That I'd..

(chorus)

Stand beside you, and face the gates of hell together
Shine light upon your hour of darkness
Never break the bond caused by
Fingers entwined
Never let you know how special it felt..
To call you mine

Now it's over, it's decaying and dead
The only love you feel for me, are the memories in my head
I cannot carry on, and pretend
That this wound will eventually mend
Yet you don't know, you just don't know that I'd..

Stand beside you, and face the gates of hell together
Shine light upon your hour of darkness
Never break the bond caused by
Fingers entwined
Never let you know how special it felt..
To call you mine

'Bout how my ex wants nothing to do with me, despite how much I love her.
My gear
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Warrior WRXT *FS/FT*
Jasmine J35
Squier Fender P-Bass
Ibanez TBX150H
Crate 4x12
Fender Rumble 60


Part of UG's 7 STRING LEGION
#2
Quote by ReinventingEvil
I made a mistake
Yet my heart still beats
I'm only human
Why should I suffer such a cold hearted defeated?

Such a cold hearted defeated? What does that even mean?
Quote by ReinventingEvil

I was blind by self deception
Possessor of an uneven perception
You didn't know, no you didn't
That I'd..

I think you mean BLINDED by self deception. And the last line and second line don't gel at all. 'No you didn't that I'd...' What??

Quote by ReinventingEvil


Stand beside you, and face the gates of hell together
Shine light upon your hour of darkness
Never break the bond caused by
Fingers entwined
Never let you know how special it felt..
To call you mine

Face the gates of hell together. Hee hee.

Quote by ReinventingEvil

Now it's over, it's decaying and dead
The only love you feel for me, are the memories in my head
I cannot carry on, and pretend
That this wound will eventually mend
Yet you don't know, you just don't know that I'd..

More allusions to death and decay. Brava.
Nothing out of the ordinary here.


And that pretty much goes for the whole song. So all in all, the best part was the use of the word soliloquy in the title. And it isn't much in terms of both a song and a, uh, soliloquy. Spare us the death and decay allusions and metaphors, it borders on annoying. Not a great job. But a good effort. Looking forward to hear more from you.
#3
Yeah I'm glad you didn't hold back, I was drunk as **** when I wrote this. Usually my songs get positive feedback, it's not a good sign when you yourself disapprove of your own material.

It's hard to sum it up into something...somebody else can feel vicariously. It's a bit complicated to word, the pain of losing a loved one.
My gear
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Warrior WRXT *FS/FT*
Jasmine J35
Squier Fender P-Bass
Ibanez TBX150H
Crate 4x12
Fender Rumble 60


Part of UG's 7 STRING LEGION