#1
No preface comments.

"Dead Line"

Parsing the phrase 'dead line'
Would be a better way to end a poem,
But life, blind, misreads braille
On exit signs and tugs at dead lines. I,
I today little more than a shade,
Wandering in place, afraid, getting lost
Missing bits essential, confused,
Rude, and hiding in memories
That foment in the bath of my
four worthwhile senses.

The steam from senses rises
And condenses and disperses
And my mind is the transducer
That turns your smell into your person,
But your life is too far poetry
If you honestly think that muse-invoking
Is a better way to start a poem.
Last edited by *Truly Ninja* at Mar 17, 2008,
#2
wow man that was really good, my favorite part was the fact that it starts talking about the end and it ends talking about the start, its really ironic in that sense, that it has an ending other than that which is expected. i really think its good, i like the braille misreading part, how it makes a good mental image of being completly lost.

EDIT: forgot to ask you to check out my song dying breath.
Last edited by aaron6890 at Mar 17, 2008,