#1
Hey guys! Wanting some feedback on this, hope you like you it!

I can’t wait to see the day,
When everything is perfect,
I look around and I see,
Disaster around me,
Insatiable thirst for something,
But they don’t know what it is,
They cannot understand it,
It’s far too simple,

I’m incapable of destruction,
But it hurts more to turn away,
Building pitfalls that ruin us
We are the fools that destroy

Lovely walls built around us,
Seperating everyone,
I know this is not the end,
Only a hint at what’s to come,
These partitions are ours,
We built them ourselves,
We don’t need to be destructive,
To be able to destroy

I’m incapable of destruction,
But it hurts more to turn away,
Building pitfalls that ruin us
We are the fools that destroy

Desecrated remnants, (I'm not sure about this bridge, it seems a little... short)
Of eternal consequence,

I’m incapable of destruction,
But it hurts more to turn away,
Building pitfalls that ruin us
We are the fools that destroy


Thanks -mnin
#2
Why is there no one posting? Does it just suck that much? lol
#4
Thank-you, that's exactly what I'm going for. I want to be able to have a message in the songs I write, not just have complex poetry where the meaning is hidden and people can't understand it.