#1
Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard .......................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

######
Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad at the door.............1942 cal
Her mom walking in..............................Priceless!!!LOL


F*** YEAH!!!!!!!!!
#2
Hitting copy and paste because you can't think of anything original burns quite a few calories.
#3
Being 6 years old burns calories.
"Punk is a state of mind, and no one can take that away from you."
#6
that isn't funny, this thread fails...simple as
Quote by uvq
yeah fire him secretly... thats what im doing except im firing myself and secretly joining someone elses band

Quote by Jekkyl
If you get a virus by looking at porn, is it considered a sexually-transmitted disease?

Quote by DiveRightIn63
thanks for the compliment man!
#10
Yeah, we've been on myspace before.
VENUSIAN
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Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#11
Twitter: ScottWotton
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3DS FC: 5043-1553-4655
Friend Safari: Rock type with Boldore, Pupitar and Barbaracle.

Wants his username as ScottWotton. >.>
#12
Those figures are bull****.
Schecter C1 Classic Left Handed
Line 6 POD HD500
Peavey Valveking 112
#14
wow.

I can't think of anything witty to say, its just poor effert all round
CYMRU


Quote by apothecarrie
I cut my tongue with a spoon.


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