#1
Hey guys, Im writing an essay on the theme revenge in Frankenstein. For anybody that has read the novel tell me if my first little bit seems ok, and give any suggestions. Thanks in advance.

Frankenstein: A Story of Revenge
When people get caught up in the addictive nature of revenge, lives are often ruined and put on hold. In Frankenstein, an intelligent philosopher named Victor and a vulgar looking creature he created both vow to get revenge on each other. Both Victor and the creature throw their lives away in attempt to quench their thirst for revenge. Revenge blindfolds people from the rest of their life, and almost always leads to an unpromising future.
In the earlier chapters of Frankenstein, the creature vows revenge on humans after several unsuccessful encounters with society. After being abandoned by his Victor, his creator, the creature attempts to communicate with a nearby cottage family. After a disastrous attempt to befriend the cottagers, the creature says “That moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and, more than all, against him who had formed me, and sent me forth to this insupportable misery” (Shelley 124). The creature vows revenge on all humans, innocent or not, due to the terrible treatment he received from a few select people. The creature uses revenge as a means of venting his anger and making his life somewhat fulfilling. Revenge is a powerful tool used wrongly in most peoples’ hands. Shortly after this encounter, the creature brutally murders a young boy when the boy tells him his father is Victor. The creature uses William as revenge for the way Victor abandoned him. While the creature is not entirely bad, he is lured to the sometimes gratifying effect of revenge.
#2
seems fine. look into the monsters encounters and how he is twisted, and predjudice just because he's ugly and stuff 'he was meant to be an angel' is a great quote (or somehting like that cant mind it word for word)
ethics are also important, the idea of creating a human. Also victor is god in this story so why not jump to the idea that maybe the writer was saying god has abondened us and we are now twisted beyond repair
#3
get rid of all the generalities like "Revenge blindfolds people from the rest of their life, and almost always leads to an unpromising future" or "Revenge is a powerful tool used wrongly in most peoples’ hands" and leave the focus on textual material. Stop beginning half of your sentences with similar introductory phrases: "after, after, shortly after this encounter." In fact throw out a bunch of your introductory phrases, it makes for fluffy, less direct sentences.

Get to the root of what revence really means for the monster and what different thing it means for Frankenstein, I don't think saying the monster gets a "gratifying effect" is nearly specific or interesting enough on its own, something like: the monster sees himself as a Satan figure after reading Paradise Lost, seeking to gain control through violence and destruction, making evil his good, or some random bs like that, but not just he did it because it made him feel good. Contrast this with Frankenstien's motivation behind revenge; find the differences.

Do these things and you'll have a good start, and for the love of god, change your title to something interesting and specific.

Grade your paper: well I don't know what grade you are in or the type of class it is and I understand it isn't done yet, but if you handed a finished paper in this style in to me you'd probably be looking at solid D.