#1
Alright this is my first song posting on here, but it's definitely not my first song. All and any feedback is appreciated.

A Nomad Between Two Homelands

The one side is called the frozen north
The other is the land of romance
Somewhere in the middle there's a big puddle
Maybe a piece of land but that's not where I'm from
In the west they say I'm the baguette boy
And in the east I'm the bear hunter
You know it gets annoying to be a stereotype
D'you know how it feels to get it on two sides...

I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands
Where I have no base camp 'cause I'm a stranger everywhere.
I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands
Two homelands that treat as if I'm from the other

As you grow up they tell you that you're lucky
But isn't that what they tell everybody?
They say it's a boon to have two homes
But now I know I only have two halves
Places where you think you belong
Until you realize that this land isn't yours
It's getting hard to be a stereotype
Of one when you're in the other.

I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands
Where I have no base camp 'cause I'm a man from nowhere.
I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands
Two places that think I belong in the other.

Am I looking at a future with no home?
I'd love to change that thought if I could.
But public opinions are barring the way
And it seems like nobody wants me to be home.
I'd love to be able to settle down one day
But someone who's moved so much has little hope
One day if I'm accepted I'll settle on a side
But I know I'll still be longing for the other...

And I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands,
Who doesn't see his future as clearly through the fog.
I'm a nomad stuck between two homelands,
And I sure hope you'll be able to fix this one day!


There you have it. I usually write in French 'cause I always think it sounds better, but once in a while I'll have some lyrics in English that I really like.

Cheers,

Pierre.
11.06.92
Last edited by GuitarPierre at Mar 21, 2008,
#2
For the most part, I really liked this piece. A few cleches here and there but you called yourself on it like you knew it was. I think the first stanza could use a little work. It's by far your weakest stanza, but I like it because it basically sets up the whole story and the message that comes with it. I really liked this piece. Thanks for getting to mine, i really appreciate it. Nice job. Keep up the good work.
#3
I changed the first stanza a bit. I realized I'd called Canada the east and France the west! Also I changed the structure of those two lines (baguette boy and bear hunter) so it has a bit more feel/flow. I changed the 300 meters of water line as well so it rings a little better. Thanks for the feedback.