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#1
...Ok, well last night I was hanging with my girlyfriend and we started talking about how we should eventually have sex and she goes "You know..I wonder what butt secks feels like?"

I'm scared it might hurt.
Last edited by Radio Addict at Mar 19, 2008,
#5
Well then tell her to start with a small dildo. I'm sure it won't be that bad. It's not like you'd be getting an actual dick in your bum.
Quote by markr17
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#6
But be sure to act on this, as not every girl will be willing. It may end up being your only chance!
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#7
Quote by sSyLc
Well then tell her to start with a small dildo. I'm sure it won't be that bad. It's not like you'd be getting an actual dick in your bum.


I think he means...... Oh. I see what you did there.
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#8
Quote by The_Hottest_Day
I think he means...... Oh. I see what you did there.

He said he was afraid it might hurt. I just assumed he didn't think it would be so tight that . . .
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#10
If you don't do it, I won't respect you. What's worse? A little pain, or losing my respect?
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#11
Quote by Sweetbabyjezuz
But be sure to act on this, as not every girl will be willing. It may end up being your only chance!


True story.

The trick is to stick a thumb in there a slowly create a gap that you can slide your love length in to.
Use lots of lube.

What's that film where he butters his manhood and sticks it in? Epic.
#12
Quote by tyronelab
Is she talking about you giving or receiving because I think some of these guys have got the wrong end of the stick if she actually means she wants to receive.


Both. At the same time.
#13
While most girls complain anal hurts, they always tell me not to stop. I think it is more of a good hurt, rather than a bad hurt. If she is 17, I promise she will go ass to mouth. All 17 year olds do.
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#14
Quote by Radio Addict
Both. At the same time.

That's some mad Karma Sutra **** right there. I don't even know how you'd pull that off with only two people.
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#15
Quote by sSyLc
That's some mad Karma Sutra **** right there. I don't even know how you'd pull that off with only two people.

I would assume they would be taking turns. **** then strap-on. They only thing I can suggest is use lots of lube and start with a finger, then move up in size.
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#16
Quote by Jack Off Jill
If you don't do it, I won't respect you. What's worse? A little pain, or losing my respect?
I can tell you've used this line before.
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#17
go for it, just use plenty of lube...when you think you have enough on there add some more, you can't use too much...when you get it in a little way, put some more on and continue that way until it's all the way in and then go from there...make sure it's not hurting the girl alot, if it hurts her much then you are doing it wrong and need to stop immediately before you cause serious damage...if you're doing it right it won't hurt her and she will feel like she will feel like she needs to take a dump...check in with her periodically to make it's all going good...if you feel grossed out by it then wear a condom, you really shouldn't get too dirty...just make sure she doesn't have you do it when she actually needs to take a **** otherwise it won't be too pleasant in more than one way...from what I've found, the whole moving up in size thing isn't strictly necessary if you go slow enough and if you are actually using enough lube...just stop if she asks you to, and check in on her once in a while, take it more seriously than you would if you were have normal sex, regardless of how serious you take that...oh and have fun!
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Last edited by DR132 at Mar 19, 2008,
#18
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
I can tell you've used this line before.

No, I haven't. But I have used the lines, "You made me sit through a Tool concert. I think I deserve a little anal, if anything I am getting the short end of the stick."
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#21
this thread is EPIC WIN in the lawlz department. Had to be said.
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#22
Quote by Jack Off Jill
No, I haven't. But I have used the lines, "You made me sit through a Tool concert. I think I deserve a little anal, if anything I am getting the short end of the stick."

As much as I like Tool, I can't stomach a Tool concert simply because of the fans. And besides like I said before, anal is easy to get a girl to do. Just have sex with her doggy style, and while your tapping it from behind, run your finger around her brown eye. Eventually slide your finger in it a bit. Gradually increase the speed and depth of your fingering, and after a bit she will turn around and tell you to stick it in her ass.
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#24
why the **** are you on the internet talking about it. go lube up and (to quote marvin gaye) "get it on"
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#25
Quote by i have to pee
As much as I like Tool, I can't stomach a Tool concert simply because of the fans. And besides like I said before, anal is easy to get a girl to do. Just have sex with her doggy style, and while your tapping it from behind, run your finger around her brown eye. Eventually slide your finger in it a bit. Gradually increase the speed and depth of your fingering, and after a bit she will turn around and tell you to stick it in her ass.


Can you elaborate on the fans? All my bandmates except me are humongoid fans, and i'd like to hear other peeps perceptions hah.
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#26
Quote by Sweetbabyjezuz
Can you elaborate on the fans? All my bandmates except me are humongoid fans, and i'd like to hear other peeps perceptions hah.

Most Tool fans are complete idiots and such tools themselves it is sickening. Yes, I know the wrench logo is so edgy... And Maynard is such a deep lyricist and is so genius, all us regular fans (not complete tools, ie fanboys) don't understand them.
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#27
Quote by i have to pee
As much as I like Tool, I can't stomach a Tool concert simply because of the fans. And besides like I said before, anal is easy to get a girl to do. Just have sex with her doggy style, and while your tapping it from behind, run your finger around her brown eye. Eventually slide your finger in it a bit. Gradually increase the speed and depth of your fingering, and after a bit she will turn around and tell you to stick it in her ass.

It was more so the wanky instrumental solos in between songs that was annoying. That and at least four times, I thought they were playing the Grudge, and it turned out it was something from their new album. Oh, that and because some ass hat kicked my chair because I was trying to sleep.

But in all reality, I just felt like what Adam Jones did to my ears with his nails on a chalk board guitar tone, I should be able to do on my ex-girlfriends anus. How can you argue against that?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#29
she asked that because she wanted you to ask it too. she wants to savagely shove stuff up your ass. run away. far away.
#30
Quote by Radio Addict
...Ok, well last night I was hanging with my girlyfriend and we started talking about how we should eventually have sex and she goes "You know..I wonder what butt secks feels like?"

I'm scared it might hurt.


If you haven't had sex yet don't start with butt secks
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#31
Quote by Jack Off Jill
It was more so the wanky instrumental solos in between songs that was annoying. That and at least four times, I thought they were playing the Grudge, and it turned out it was something from their new album. Oh, that and because some ass hat kicked my chair because I was trying to sleep.

But in all reality, I just felt like what Adam Jones did to my ears with his nails on a chalk board guitar tone, I should be able to do on my ex-girlfriends anus. How can you argue against that?

No argument at all. Except maybe that anal can't be as bad as people would like you to believe. I've only ever had sex with one girl who didn't want it, and since she was so giving in other areas (snapper plus squirter), I wasn't one to push it.
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Always outnumbered, never outgunned...
#32
Quote by i have to pee
No argument at all. Except maybe that anal can't be as bad as people would like you to believe. I've only ever had sex with one girl who didn't want it, and since she was so giving in other areas (snapper plus squirter), I wasn't one to push it.

What the hell is a snapper? I picture that as like.. a vagina that looks like the Yautja from the Predator movies without its mask on.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#33
Quote by Jack Off Jill
What the hell is a snapper? I picture that as like.. a vagina that looks like the Yautja from the Predator movies without its mask on.

One that she can manually tighten and untighten around you as you go at her. Which is a fairly uncommon trait I am led to believe.
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╔═╗
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╚═╝
Always outnumbered, never outgunned...
#34
Well, make sure her strap on is well lubed.
Quote by fukyu1980
LOL ! muther fuker i was gonna say that LOL!
#35
Quote by i have to pee
One that she can manually tighten and untighten around you as you go at her. Which is a fairly uncommon trait I am led to believe.

Oh, I had a girlfriend that could do that. But I want you to know, I'm disappointed. I was hoping there were women out there who could possibly make me feel like I'm getting oral sex from an alien.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#37
This reminds of that one guy who like used a whole bottle of lube, then the girl threw up and had diarrhea.

and his friend was recording it the whole time, does anyone have a link to that?
#38
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Oh, I had a girlfriend that could do that. But I want you to know, I'm disappointed. I was hoping there were women out there who could possibly make me feel like I'm getting oral sex from an alien.

Don't give up yet . . .
EDIT: Beh, it's probably considered porn, but you ever been to Perry Bible Fellowship? The comic about the spaceman and Zarflax?
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#39
Quote by Sweetbabyjezuz
But be sure to act on this, as not every girl will be willing. It may end up being your only chance!


amen
#40
Ask yourself "what would maccas do?"


'cause anal sex with a chick would kick some major ass!


EDIT: no pun intended.
Last edited by maccas666 at Mar 19, 2008,
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