#1
Yes, the title is from a Why? song, thank you for asking.

Like Death in the Bible


“I sat on a green hill, picking up
Smooth and sharp pebbles and placing them in piles,
One pile for those rocks which belonged to me,
And one pile for those rocks which belonged to you.

I lay back, blinked three times,
And stared up at the blue sky.

And all of a sudden the green hill was a turtle,
The rocks were stars,
And you were like an angel. I think.
The turtle started walking, and I
Had to dig my hands into its soft shell
To stop the ropes of gravity
Tugging it all down.
Tugging it all down.
And all of a sudden the turtle was a giant sycamore,
The rocks were doves,
And you were like roots. I think.
The tree started bending under me, Or growing.
And I had to dig my hands into the sky
To stop the
Constant shifting of
Changing change change change change,
Lover, father, kisser, tounger,
Fishnet, stalking, stockings, big and green,
Bending, a constant bending earthward. I think.
Though it could have been skyward.

I sat up, confused, back on the hill,
Back in the midst of the piles
And leaned out and kissed you.”

The end.
#3
=/ This reminds me a lot of a piece I wrote a while ago. A whole lot. Bizarre.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#9
lol, Nike?

No... no, it wasn't.

I quite like this though, to make the post relevant. I think the 'And you were like roots. I think.' line is a bit iffy, but other than that it's a really cool 'trippy' feel you got going on.

Peace.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#10

Tugging it all down.
Tugging it all down.

Changing change change change change


Stop doing that.

Your enjambment was useful, surprisingly.

This was hit and miss. I liked some lines, others I wish you'd stop throwing in your pieces.

It was very poetic, man.

luvs ya.
#11
Something about this seemed stale. I don't know. I think it's just my nature - I crave at least one line of sex or violence.

I think it was a little too...precious for me. Which isn't a bad thing at all.


Also, why name this after a Why? song?
Poor advice.