#1
Alright i read the rules and retitled my thread...

Not only a new song, but also my first song so go ahead give it to me straight,,,, i don't mind critisism as long as it is constructive as well so here you are.

Verse 1
Lying alone once again
Bound by this rectangular prison
I stare out the small view
Of course i'm thinking of you
And as the rain crashes on the window
and thunder sounds in the night
My mind travels to a far off place
Me and you side by side
And I'll turn to you and say

Chorus
Goodnight Gorgeous
I pray you sleep tight tonight
Move in closer with a suttle stroke
of the hair
I will whisper that four letter word
in your ear

Verse 2
Back to my place of solitary
Any place without you seems so scary
Yet I get up and do it again
Slowly losing hope, a bitter sin
Snow piles up on the window
The warmth hidden in the night
My mind travels to a far off place
Me and you side by side

Chorus

Bridge
I can't take it anymore
Leaving it all behind
I run out the door
x2

You keep looking in the sky
Look a little lower so we can see eye to eye
Just give me that chance i've been looking for
x2

Chorus 2
In my room alone again
I turn to the window and say
Goodnight Gorgeous
I pray your not alone tonight
and that someone is there
To love and care for your every need

Originally in my mind the song was going a happier direction,, but this is how it turned out, anyways kudo to songwriters everywhere because it is harder than it looks.
#2
this is really good for a first song, it has bridges and choruses and everything. my first few songs went in a different direction than i planned too but it just takes a little practice. but back to your song i like how the verses are nice and long but still flow well, thier poetic without being too random. this song is great!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=815725
#3
Very good lyrics. I thought it flowed very good and had good imagery. -mnin