#1
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Please rate these lyrics that I wrote for my bands new song, "Tell Me".

Verse 1:
Tell me what happened to you
Tell me what happened I'll help you get through
Tell me what I need to know
Let me see everywhere you wanted to go

Chorus:
I only wanted to know
I only wanted to see
And I've got no place to go
And I've got nowhere to be

Verse 2:
Tell me what you think of them
Tell me why your goin' on once again
Tell me why you didn't try
I only wanted to be a good friend

Chorus

Bridge:
Everything I've learned from you
Sometimes I don't know what to do
So tell me (echo tell me)

Chorus x2
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.
Last edited by Jdmaurer16 at Mar 19, 2008,
#2
pretty nice song. i can see it working. just a couple things, though.

i would lengthen the verses a bit. i like the message they are delivering and the way they are presented, but I think it needs a little more length.

"I only wanted to be a good friend" Too cliché. Try to change it to something with the same meaning or message but in not such a cliché way.

Just my two cents. Song for crit in signature.
#3
As said above, it needs to be longer. What you wrote is great, but expand off it. Put more emotion into it. It seems more like a narration than anything. Anyways, if you're doing crit for crit, it's in my sig.
#4
Thanks for all the crit. I'll check your songs out. I will try to lengthen the verses and stuff.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.
#5
I would agree with lengthening the verses a bit. But what you have up there is very good. One complaint would be the flow in the first verse, with the 1st and 3rd lines being the same length, but the 2nd and 4th lines aren't. You should either lengthen line 2 or shorten line 4.
Actually this song is somewhat similar to a song I've been working for a while with the same name. I should have that one posted fairly soon.
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#6
but that is how it fits with the melody. ill record a demo of it soon, and let you know when i do.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.
#7
bump
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.
#9
Quote by lostkey
HA thats funny i just wrote a song with the same title and posted it here. got a bit Confused when i saw yours. anyhow. not really sure what the story is though. how the verse connects to the chorus.


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13472797#post13472797


Ya the same thing happened to me when I saw yours...

Anyways, let me explain the meaning to you. Its about somebody trying to get somebody else to tell them all this stuff. The person gets mad, and the other one asking everything says "I only wanted to know; I only wanted to see". You know? After reading all that, it sounds a little confusing. Let me explain to you what exactly I wrote it about...

So my friend was all mad over a situation, but he wouldn't tell me why (turned out it was his girlfriend...). Anyways, I kept asking him to tell me, and he got mad. Thats where the lines come in "I only wanted to know/see". Then I'm saying "I've got no place to go/be" because he is about to tell me.

Get it now?
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.
#10
bump
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") = 100% Awesome

A good friend will help you up when you fall.
A best friend will just laugh and trip you again.