#1
This song is still untitled... It's obviously a breakup song.
Please critique lyrics/vocals/guitar/flow... everything.
I'll return the favor!!!
You can listen to it here... it's called "UNTITLED" (for now): http://www.myspace.com/maxlsongs
Last edited by vinestreet98 at Mar 20, 2008,
#2
oo, i like it! great recording, loved the guitar. could use some surprises in the vocals, like go from low pitch to high pitch, thats imo though =). keep up the good job!
Look into my eyes...
Current Gear:
Ibanez Iceman IC400
Marshall MG15DFX
BOSS Metal Zone
BOSS NS-2
#3
Thanks!! I actually just posted a REVISED version of it... It's more or less the same though, just added some little nuances. Anything else?
#4
The guitar is very nice, great tone. The vocal line is quite strong although the lyrics don't really come through to be honest. You're a very good singer and you have a good voice. The whole song flows very well, it would definetely be a standout track on an album. I'd give it 8/10

If you have time could you crit mine?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=817260
TO = used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached, as opposed to from

TWO = the number 2

TOO = in addition; also; furthermore; to an excessive extent or degree
#5
I liked it! very simple and pretty reminds me a bit of Elliott Smith,
with a slightly rougher voice.
I didn't quite get the lyrics, just cause the words don't come of very
clearly (not a bad thing at all... I sing very unclearly ) so I'm going
to ignore them. the singing is good, I can hear that you care about what
your singing about, there is one issue though, I think that the vocals
should be just a little louder for most of the song, and significantly
louder in the quiet parts, where you sing very quietly, but the guitar
remains fairly loud.
Another thing, this time more related to the actual song, it desperately
needs a chorus or at least a bridge, to break things up a little, and to
bring some fresh air into the song so that it doesn't get old so quickly.
It may seem like I'm criticizing your song a lot, but really its a very
good song, if you clear the mix up a little and add a bridge in somewhere
It'll truly be great
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=817249
#8
This is a great song. I love the chord progression(it sounds very Social D-ish), and your voice is very unique in a good way. The lyrics could be improved, but overall a very good song.

crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=817310

EDIT: what kind of acoustic do you use?
Arbor A410 Bass
Dinosaur 20 Watt Bass Amp
Line 6 Spider III 75 Watt
Squier Bullet

Excuse me sir, have you been thinking tonight?
#9
Hey, thanks for the crit!

Good chord progression. What's that tapping sound in the background? Was that intended, or is it just sme blemish in the production?

You have a really good voice. It's not really my style, but you're obviously talented. The recording quality is really good too.

This song sounds like it should be on a movie lol. I don't know why.

The progrssion gets a little repetitive after a while. You make good use of dynamics to keep it interesting, but maybe you should use a different progression for the chorus or something.

But yeah that was a very good song. I give it 8.5/10.
I'm a person.
#10
the tapping is probably my pic hitting the pickguard with every strum lol... bad form i guess. thanks!!!
#11
I think you have a great voice. Like some one said, more dynamic with the vocals would be great. The chord progression doesn't do anything for me, not that there's anything wrong with it inherently, it's just too upbeat and clean for my taste. All in all, not my stlye, but certainly not bad.
#12
I like the simplicity of this song, it really makes you pay more attention to the lyrics, which are IMO pretty solid. Solidly in time Acoustic playing with good weighting on the chords. Singing is overall in tune, though the first note was a bit iffy. Nice dynamics on the vocals as already said, and I also like the hummy part. Maybe you could develop it a bit more.

8/10

Crit me? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=817489
...
#15
Beautiful song dude. Can imagine a studio version with harmonies and like a cello on or a lead acoustic sounding mint...just to meat up the empty bits. But yeh nice. Also the guitar sounded fine but there was a clicking all the way through, like summat tapping on ur body by mistake. Just puttin' that out ther. Wouldn't mind a crit: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=818941

Thanks
Last edited by priceless_twirp at Mar 24, 2008,
#16
This is a pretty cool song. The vox are good. I agree they could be louder in the mix, that way they'll stand out more. The song could use some different parts i.e. bridge, etc.

I like your style. Keep it up.

By the way, what mics are you using?
Last edited by bronson_jess at Mar 25, 2008,
#17
Pretty good voice you got there! I'm crying as I listen to it A little too much reverb on the vocals I think.
#18
I use a studio projects B1 condenser mic ($100 bux, GREAT mic!!) -> Behringer UB802 mixer -> tape outs -> macbook pro / garageband
Thanks for all the comments!!!! Curious what you all think of the other song that's up there, Until... it's more agressive...
Last edited by vinestreet98 at Mar 25, 2008,
#20
I liked it. The recording quality was excellent. Your playing was great and your singing was also excellent. Chord progression is nice - nothing wrong with keeping it simple and the change in dynamics along with subtlety of the vocal line kept my interest throughout. The melody was pretty strong and I was able to hum along with it which was good. The overall structure was well though out and it flowed really nice along.

'Until' was great as well. Again, the chord progression is quite simple but never boring. Your guitar playing was excellent and your vocals were again really strong. They really match the mood of the piece and what you're singing about. The ending is really great and they way you're singing almost sounds like a cry. There's a really great 'raw' quality to it. Really passionate song.

And I'd love to hear a full cover of Song to the Siren as it's one of my favourite songs ever.

Great stuff man.


Mind checking out something of mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=816667

thanks!
#21
Untitled is awesome. Great vocals, and overall catchy / good song. A break in there for a mellow, solo-ish riff would be cool. Theres a faint clicking sound in the back (of both songs actually), probably just from the camera or recorder.

Until- You really get into this one, excellent. Like the lyrics. The "...distinguish" parts sound odd to me, kind of rushed in a way. Maybe drag that word out a bit more? Otherwise, another great song. You should get in a band if you arent already, drums and more instruments would be sweet with these.