#1
So my parents are going through a divorce, and tomorrow I have to see the mediator, or judge, or whatever you call it.

Now I'm not very comfortable with the idea that what I say tomorrow will affect my whole life. Seeing as I am 14 it will affect it directly for a good amount of time,

so does anyone know if there is a way to get out of speaking with the mediator?
#3
****ty man, sorry but what do you have to talk to them about? are they like a counselor(sp?)?
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#4
Quote by floppypick
****ty man, sorry but what do you have to talk to them about? are they like a counselor(sp?)?


No, its the divorce judge, something like that, the guy that decides who gets what,
and since both my mom and my dad want custody of us, we have to get asked questions to see who is better.

Anything I say can affect the outcome.
#6
Well, this may sound kind of bad but... who would you rather go with? You sort of have to do this, and I wouldn't recommend avoiding it, or just don't really talk at all.

Either way you will have to go with one of them, so... I dunno good luck man.
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#7
Quote by thefoundationof
No, its the divorce judge, something like that, the guy that decides who gets what,
and since both my mom and my dad want custody of us, we have to get asked questions to see who is better.

Anything I say can affect the outcome.

Damn.. all you can do is think about what you'll say.. I mean.. just speak the truth..

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#8
My rents are divorced and I didn't have to talk to anyone , then again , they've been split up since I was like 5 so I don't know what good talking to a 5 year old would've done
#11
My parents just went through a divorce, I'm 14 too. It actually didn't hit me very hard..
I didn't have to see a mediator though, we decided that I would live with my dad because my mom has really shitty hours, she usually gets home around 7:00 or 8:00, and sometimes has to stay at the hospital overnight, so it was kind of obvious who i would end up living with.
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#12
Quote by ShaunDiel
My rents are divorced and I didn't have to talk to anyone , then again , they've been split up since I was like 5 so I don't know what good talking to a 5 year old would've done


xd. yeah, theyre only gonna speak to me, and one of my younger brothers (12) the other one is 9 and they aren't gonna talk to him.


The thing is i dont know who I would rather be with, thats the thing, and If I end up going with the wrong one, I dont wanna feel like **** cause the reason i ended up there was because i said something.
#13
Dude, I'm going through the same thing and it sucks doesn't it if u wanna talk to someone you can send me a PM
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#14
Quote by thefoundationof
No, its the divorce judge, something like that, the guy that decides who gets what,
and since both my mom and my dad want custody of us, we have to get asked questions to see who is better.

Anything I say can affect the outcome.


i say for everything he asks you .. you just reply with .. Yeah Zeppelin Rules !
#16
Well life hits you hard and fast, nows the time to stop worrying about petty things and getting your act together. Think of what will be the wisest choice on who you will live with. Heartless? Of course it is, my folks have been divorced since I was 5, and Iv'e been through two court sessions and talked to a feminist mediator who thought I was full of it.

Yes it's quite unfair for people at your age, but who the hell ever thought life would be fair eh? hah. anyways, good luck chap.
#18
Quote by RedMoonMan
why dont you just stay with both of them equal amounts of time?

Because it's very inefficient, takes alot of time traveling everywhere, ect..
#19
Quote by RedMoonMan
why dont you just stay with both of them equal amounts of time?


Easier said than done. You think you can do it , but honestly it's not possible , plus I'm almost positive that at this kids age there's going to have to be a Custodial Parent.
#20
My parents split up a while ago, I never had to talk to anyone. But I stay at my Mums for most of the time then every 2nd weekend I go to my Dad's, I also stay their for a week every now and then during the holidays.
#21
Quote by ShaunDiel
Easier said than done. You think you can do it , but honestly it's not possible , plus I'm almost positive that at this kids age there's going to have to be a Custodial Parent.

Yup thats why they are talking to us, to decide who it will be.

But idk who, I mean the physical divorce hasnt affected me much, I mean it sucks yea, but you know.

But like idk who I want to live with, I dont even know if im going to keep my house,
my dad doesnt want us to keep the house, and to be honest, I love this house.
And idk.
I don't wanna **** up something while talking to the mediator.
#22
Quote by thefoundationof

I don't wanna **** up something while talking to the mediator.


I feel you on that one, my mediator thought everything I said was because of brainwashing, and hence, invalid. I don't mean to be a prick, but DO keep your posture and confidence on the highest level when speaking to them.
#23
Quote by Muzikh
I feel you on that one, my mediator thought everything I said was because of brainwashing, and hence, invalid. I don't mean to be a prick, but DO keep your posture and confidence on the highest level when speaking to them.



Thats what i'm worried about also, if they notice how you dress and your manners, and such
#24
hate to say it, but just answer the questions honestly. you'll end up in whichever place is better for you to grow up in.

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#25
man,what a ****ed situation to be in man. i don't know what you should do either, so yeh. wishin' ya well
#26
Quote by thefoundationof
No one is, or well in most, We're just talking to the mediator.


I really think it's bull**** that the kid has zero say whatsoever. The point is to decide which parent will give them a better life. How fair is it that the kid isn't involved in this?
#27
Quote by AlecMag
hate to say it, but just answer the questions honestly. you'll end up in whichever place is better for you to grow up in.

It's a lot more than that, even if you answer honestly, sometimes they may not like your reasoning behind your answers (you must explain why for every question).
#28
My parents are not divorced.. but before I was even born my dad had another wife.. then split and married my mom, so I have half brothers everywhere...

Don't you HATE people saying that a "normal" family has to be two married parents, and two kids, born from those parents only?
I do..

And, about your parents' divorce.. I think that you should be really honest, and also, as somebody above said, be VERY confident, I'm sure they'll consider that..

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#29
I had one. Tell them WHAT YOU WANT, as in, where you want to stay or do and they will try to make it happen.

They are kind of obligated to do so.

I wished to finish my high school career and my judge said in the court room that she will act in the best interest of the child and grant me to stay.
#30
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
I really think it's bull**** that the kid has zero say whatsoever. The point is to decide which parent will give them a better life. How fair is it that the kid isn't involved in this?


What I ment was that we are not allowed to know what the court talks about. As for what you said, I think it has to do with the idea that children aren't smart enough to choose what is best for them.

And as for saying what I want, thats the problem, I have no idea what I want, None wat so ever.
#32
Quote by ShaunDiel
Oh yeah , I forgot to mention it, you get 2 Christmases(what a strange word)

Hah! And you'll also get to partake in a fight between your parents on who gets to spend more time with you on Christmas! (what a strange world)
#33
Quote by Muzikh
Hah! And you'll also get to partake in a fight between your parents on who gets to spend more time with you on Christmas! (what a strange world)



Yea this christmas was kinda **** for me, cause, my dad had been kicked out of the house,
and he came back that morning, and my mom was pissed and he was pissed at her, and yeah.

Oh and especially thanksgiving.
#34
Quote by thefoundationof
Yea this christmas was kinda **** for me, cause, my dad had been kicked out of the house,
and he came back that morning, and my mom was pissed and he was pissed at her, and yeah.

Oh and especially thanksgiving.

This will only make you a stronger person in the end, you'll be able to put up with a lot more **** than the average chum out there.
#35
Through your parents' divorce process you're going to have what's called a Law Guardian to represent your interests in the court. The fact that you're 14 will weigh heavily with the court and what you tell the judge will have ramifications. The alternative is that you say nothing and have the court determine the next four years of your life (no, you telling the court what you want doesn't screw up the rest of your life unless one or both of your parents are childish idiots).
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#36
Well hopefully your parents care about you enough such that if you made the "wrong decision" they'd let you change your mind.
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#37
I don't know if I went through the same thing but I changed who I was living with. It isn't thatr bad but then again I was confident in who I wanted to stay with. It sucks because you don't want to hurt anyone I'm glad I was young when it happened to me.
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#38
If things work anything like they do here, it's highly likely you'll end up with your Mum unless you ask to live with your Dad. If you don't have a problem with either of your parents, which it sounds like you don't, then tell the mediator that you would be happy living with either of them and let them make the decision for you.
#39
Dude talk to your brother that is talking see what he thinks and if niether of you absolutely cannot decide flip a coin thats all.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#40
Quote by Muzikh
This will only make you a stronger person in the end, you'll be able to put up with a lot more **** than the average chum out there.


Tis true. I don't know who originally said it but it was at the begginning of Conan the Barabrian so it must be true "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." remember that.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!