#1
hey everyone this is a song i wrote, i know its not brilliant but i am only 13 and how can i write about life if ive never lived ? anyway please leave comments and crits and i will do ur songs too:

(spelling and punctuation optional)


We just sit at home
Waiting for the monster to die
You say this can’t be changed
But did you ever try
Do you just not know
Or do you just not care
Cos we can't see the problem
Though it was always there

Chorus
And these glass towerblocks
They were built on the backs of those who died
And these foundations
They are made of the tears and the tears we cried
And these broken people
who layed down their lives
for these glass towerblocks
we never said goodbye

You stand on your throne of gold
And block out the screams
Of a thousand falling people
And a million broken dreams
You can't see the people
And the reasons that they die
You learnt to have apathy
But you never learnt to cry

Chorus
And these glass towerblocks
They were built on the backs of those who died
And these foundations
They are made of the tears and the tears we cried
And these broken people
who layed down their lives
for these glass towerblocks
we never said goodbye

Outro
We just sit aroud
waiting for the monster to die
Cos while the monster lives
we'll never learn to fly
#4
Better than I could pull off at 13, I'll give you that.

They are made of the tears and the tears we cried

Repetition... doesn't make much sense, either.

I really like the second verse, got a great flow to it.

Maybe a little less rhyming though, possibly take out rhymes on the last line of each verse or something like that?

Apart from that, great job.
#5
yeah
it seemed very idk
that genre is very generic lyricly
the words never have TOO much depth
still very good