#1
Hey hows it going, Ive returned from the "lab" with 2 new weird tweaked out songs. Pick Your Poison is a total joke but I think its got some cool parts, plus it helped me work on my screaming a bit. The other one is called Expi, no bass on it which it needs!, but its got some cool rhythms and piano and a cool speeding up chorus, so let me know what you think. All instruments done by me......

Also, I am honorable with my crit 4 crit policy so no worries.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/GoodCharloteSux/
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
Last edited by GoodCharloteSux at Mar 21, 2008,
#2
I'll crit Expi:
Nice smooth intro, sounds very relaxing. I like the keyboard in this track, it really adds to the song. Nice drums too, they fit very well. I do like the softness of the track, but in parts i personally would have added a smooth distorted lead bit. I didn't really like the ending riff, although with a bit of work, it would sound good. For example, half way through it, i would have added palm mutes in the gaps. Overall a good track.

Thanks for critting mine too
#3
I really liked Pick Your Poison a lot haha. especially the riffs. the vocals were very interesting.

Expi had a very strange vibe to it. The drums sound very wierd contrasted to the piano, especially in the intro. overall i really liked it however.

crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=817310
Arbor A410 Bass
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Excuse me sir, have you been thinking tonight?
#4
This is for Expi - I thought overall this track was very good. The keyboards especially work very well here. It gves it a very relaxition and laid back nice feel. I do think a nice smooth distorted sound would work well in this though. Maybe a nice warm lead section. Not much i can say to put this down as it is very good.

Thanks for the crit on mine.
Flap it and enjoy yourself...

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'...and those who fought on that day of honor, the day of victory shall be forever remembered as Lime Green' - Oct 31st 08
#6
Thanks for all the comments guys and gals
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#7
Everything has already been covered.
I quite liked both, and your other stuff is quite good too.
Call me Wes.
Gear:
Fender American Deluxe HSS Strat
Chicago Blues Box Roadhouse
Bad Cat Cougar 5
1957 Gibson GA-5
Ceriatone 18w TMB Combo
Hughes & Kettner Tube Factor
Various Ibanez TS9s
Weber MASS Attenuator
#9
Expi: Very nice keyboard and drums, some bass would fit in real nice. Also, nice playing and recording if them's real drums. Although, am I the only person hearing the guitar as horribly out of tune? Apologies if it was intentional, but it has the nails-on-chalkboard effect for me. Aha, picks up around 2:20. Good work there, has a kinda oriental vibe.

PYP: Reminds me a lot of Sugar by System of a Down Really good contrast of headbanging guitars and clean/screaming vox. Great overall sound, too. Only thing letting you down is the guitar sound, rather thin. Have you tried layering tracks? Pan them to opposite sides slightly, it should sound a lot bigger.

Thanks for the crit on mine
#10
Quote by Vermintide
Expi: Very nice keyboard and drums, some bass would fit in real nice. Also, nice playing and recording if them's real drums. Although, am I the only person hearing the guitar as horribly out of tune? Apologies if it was intentional, but it has the nails-on-chalkboard effect for me. Aha, picks up around 2:20. Good work there, has a kinda oriental vibe.

PYP: Reminds me a lot of Sugar by System of a Down Really good contrast of headbanging guitars and clean/screaming vox. Great overall sound, too. Only thing letting you down is the guitar sound, rather thin. Have you tried layering tracks? Pan them to opposite sides slightly, it should sound a lot bigger.

Thanks for the crit on mine



Thanks for the crit on Expi I was using a lot of "out of place" fragmented power chords in the mid area, very Pixies. At The Drive IN-esque sound with a hard rock edge.

I also thought I could have added more thickness to PYP but the reason I left it be was because I wanted the half pinch harmonic riff to really drag on and be kind of a momental thing in the mix. I definitely could have used some panning, good idea thanks
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#12
Thanks for the crit, I swear to everyone that the guitar is in tune, I used the processors tuner right before recording, I just use a lot of weird open chords ala Down in a hole for instance. All comments are welcome.
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#13
EXPI: I think the guitar is out of tune a little but I hear what your going for and I LOVE IT. Sounds like something out of an indie movie. Even reminds me a little of Portishead meets The Cure and The Strokes. The clean lead part is really cool too. Do you plan on having vocals over this?

PYP: Very spastic theme and music. I like it! The second half is really cool with the lead stuff. Reminiscent of QOTSA. I really like the heavy part near the end ("Pick your poison!!!!") but it seems like all instrument are playing something slightly different. If that part was a little more coherent you'd have a winner! Good Job!


If you get a chance go check out my newest one. It's a slightly different genre but I appreciate any and all feedback.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6392546
Last edited by Thixotrope at Mar 27, 2008,
#14
Not bad... I think everything sounds a bit tinny.... for some reason... it's a good start but work on your timing - that is very key to a great song.... It seems the piano is off for most of the solo part of the piano... The whole tempo seems to change throughout the song and that isn't normally a progression of a song...

Try using a metrinome that would work well in this case...

It's not bad, def needs vox tho and the drums sound so distant you got to work on those...
#15
overall i thought it was a good song...not exactly my style of music but none the less i can appreciate it.....really liked the lead guitar parts...my only complaints...and these would be small complaints would be just some minor timing issues ( i think...im kinda bad at this myself so i could just be on crack) and then this being TOTALLY opinion based i felt like the piano part was sort of...out of place...i liked it but i think it would lend itself more to an acoustic based song however this could be purely my acoustic bias kicking in lol

well if you have a min i was messing around and came up with this little mellow "solo" kinda thing and im not much of a lead guitarist so i could use some feedback ...link is in sig
#16
Pretty good, a nice tune.

The guitar does sound a little bit out of tune,
but I know what mean about the chords.

the phrasing needs to be a little smoother (bends and vibrato), which may be why it sounds out of tune in some parts.

I really like the piano, it gives it a classy touch, kind of dark in a way.

The shuffle drum beat, IMO, really compliments the the feeling of the song.

good stuff.



crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=822093
#18
I think it was quite good idea. Recording quality would really amp this song up.

For example, the guitar tone could use some improvement, like mentioned, it sounds very thin. Also after the first speed up part, you play some off key notes on the guitar. Btw The piano riff was a nice change.

As far as the tempo changes, its a good idea on paper, but I think you just need some better transitions.

and I like the solo too!

Hope that helps bro!!!!! Crit mines?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=829100

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#19
Expi - The guitar was a little whiny sounding and some of the note chioces were a little off. Seemed a bit out of tune, copuld just be the bends though. Drums were good though (as ever :p). Some nice piano riffs in there (do you call it a riff on a piano?). The kinda gradually breaking-up/feeding back-guitar worked well. The guitar riff after this section was good as well but the underlying chords didn't seem to quite fit with what I had in my head. The heavy-ish guitar was a little un-expected and I don't think it worked so well, fade out was interesting though.

Pick Your Poison - watch that clipping, keep the levels down. The vocals were "interesting", and they actually worked in a strange way. The guitar parts after the vocal section didn't keep me too interested I'm afraid to say, but the riffs during the vocals were tasty. Ending was good, but dunno why you started up a beat again. Seemed a little unneccessary.

return the favour? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=828701
#20
I accually like the sound of expi but I agree on the posts above that the guitar was out of tune/ whiny.
I like the part at 2,30 something with that guitar sound and effect sounds good
I also like the ending, its got a really cool sound.

Accually I recorded a song wich also got piano and guitar, I did it with my brother, and I would like if you checked it out, or critted or w/e.
Just let me know whether you liked it or not :P
#21
^ Im looking for your thread but I cant find it...?

thanks Sam, a lot of good constructive stuff from everyone I appreciate it. These are goof around, extra time songs, but the crits let me know what to do and not to do on the next one so keep them coming if you all can
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god