#1
(verse)
we know every thing there is to know
but we're still so dumb
i know what your favorite color is
it's not enough

when did the summer turn to fall
i never noticed
why does winter stay so long
it never ends

(chorus)
i remember back in the summer
when we were both free
and we walked down by the beach
and the day would never end

(verse)
like the sun we would shine so bright
i remember those days
like the moon we'd shine on through the night
what do we do now

remember a day when we would talk
in your room
like a raincloud in your eyes
we walk away

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(solo)

(chorus)
don't drink and drive, smoke and fly. actually, do both, if that's what you want. i won't care.
#2
Quote by Jangles5150
(verse)
we know every thing there is to know
but we're still so dumb
i know what your favorite color is
it's not enough

when did the summer turn to fall
i never noticed
why does winter stay so long
it never ends

The last two lines of the first stanza don't seem to fit with the whole, "earthy," feel to the poem. The only thing that pops into mind to maybe change it would be.. something relating the colors from a sunset in the sky. IMO, that would make it a little better. And I love the last stanza. I had to read it a few times to really understand the meaning but, to me, a poem that you have to read over and over again to understand is best.

(chorus)
i remember back in the summer
when we were both free
and we walked down by the beach
and the day would never end

Honestly, this is great. It's very simple, but contains a lot of meaning.

(verse)
like the sun we would shine so bright
i remember those days
like the moon we'd shine on through the night
what do we do now

remember a day when we would talk
in your room
like a raincloud in your eyes
we walk away

Good good. The first stanza doesn't change the unique flow of the poem and it, once again, sticks with the, "earth,' feel. BUT, the second stanza doesn't. The first two seem out of place and they don't really fit. I would highly consider rewriting them.
The last two are perfect. They don't change and they make me think.
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Great poem man. It's short and sweet.

If you can, Crit mine. It's untitled.

Thanks a ton.
"We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment"

Tool, anyone?
Alter Bridge, maybe?
A bit of John Mayer?
Some beethoven sounds delightful, as well.