#1


Multi-talented chef wanted:
must be able to take delight
in dropping my lobster into a boiling pan
ignore the screams
let her simmer.
Must be able to avoid the claws
and the jaws
and the kind words after midnight
the soft kisses
softer skin.
If possible,
he should be able to wield a cleaver
in the way that i can't
bring me my lover
all cut up in pieces
so i can get her out of my system.
Or into it.

Must know his way around a kitchen
as well as she did
must not laugh about my attempts to cook
as much as she did
needs to know my favourite dishes
all my sayings
idiosyncrasies
films i like
music i don't
places i like
people i wont.
But most of all
must be able to let that lobster go
into the pan
and feel her pain
without scalding his hands as i do
when i lift her back out in regret.

Apply within.





love is a dog from hell.



#2
This is the best thing I've ever read from you.

I've rarely felt so much desperation in anything.
THis felt so detached from what you normally write, which is good.


That's all I can say.
I'm drunk right now.
Poor advice.
#3
basically, what randy said. this was really good. i liked it, lots. really well written, with some great lines, especially the

films i like
music i don't
places i like
people i won't

section, and just generally engaging and enjoyable.

if i wanted to be picky, i wasn't so keen on

If possible,
he should be able to wield a cleaver
in the way that i can't
bring me my lover
all cut up in pieces
so i can get her out of my system.
Or into it.

purely because it just felt kind of... lame i guess. i wasn't witty and ironic enough, but at the same time it didn't quite reach the point where it felt heartfelt and important, instead sitting uncomfortably in 'teenage' territory.

but thats just me being picky, and this was still an awesome piece. well done.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
Last edited by Gurgle!Argh! at Mar 22, 2008,
#4
oh wow, that is dark and cool at the same time.

he should be able to wield a cleaver
in the way that i can't
bring me my lover
all cut up in pieces

could be just me, but it sounds really weird. it's like i kinda get what your trying to say here, but not really. some fixing might be needed

don't really like the title, the word 'advertisement' doesn't go well with job applications in my mind.
it was an interesting read, overall i really liked it.

give mine a read
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=818278
Quote by your mom
wow.. ggmIdas is so good in bed
Quote by your dad
basically, ggmIdas can pleasure the ladies better than me.. and he could totally kick my ass
#5
I agree. This is extremely different from your normal stuff. It's more twisted. I would say that is a bad thing, seeing as how I love your style as it is, if you hadnt executed this so well. Nice work.