It is really hard to crit your song as it moves in many directions (which I am sure is your intent.) It's not really a catchy tune...one that your going to hum about. Seems like mind altering substances would aid in ones appreciation of your song.

My only suggestion is to consider throwing some back-up vocals in the mix.
I feel like the song has an overall fluid movement to it. The vocals are mellow, on the haunting side. Excellent quality. I could hear some parts of the song where a bit of underlying organ or choir-esque vocals would add to the song in a positive way. I really liked the way it all wrapped up at the end with the piano playing the sort of main riff.
Proud Member of the "Shoop da Whoop club"
PM C.C. Deville to join

O _0
Hey man,

I definitely dig MOST of what you're trying to do. I love the chord progression; it's incredible open and ambient, yet still entirebly listenable, and you really created some lovely melodies to go along with it.

The guitar solo thing was kind of anti-climactic however. It starts out wonderfully, but eventually fades into what seems like psychadelic noodling, which doesn't fit the song as well. Every solo should have a direction, and should tell a sort of story. Yours certainly began that way, but abandoned the path it was heading down.

As for the vocals. I understand what you're trying to do with them, but it doesn't fit the spirit of the song (excuse me if this is pretentious, as the song is obviously not mine, therefore I may not know your intentions). You've got a very unique chord progression, and vocal melody is the most obvious way to highlight it's best qualities. I would highly, highly, highly recommend abandoning the whole 'talk/sing without regard to pitch' approach and take the time to mold your vocals to a more conventional singing approach.

I hope you heed at least some of my advice. I really dug what I heard though man. You're musical instincts are quite similar to mine. Please return the crit!

Your Majesty | All Lyrics/Melody/Piano/Guitar parts written by me. Please have a listen.
type as i listen

great chords, very creepy, and adds to the ghost feel.

vocals = wonderful. the guy above me said he didnt like the unconvential style, but i think it fits wonderfully!!

structure seems to be wonderful. first piano thing didnt seem to fit too well, seemed to be a little to major sounding for the song, i would prefered with the dark sounding stuff :-D (coulda been the little chiming things in the back)

the little violin break thingy is sweet. adds to the melody and such, well done.

guitar solo is top notch, after the solo woulda been well accented with maybe some build up and higher dynamics with the verse, maybe with drums? that woulda really pushed some emotion into the song

overall very nice, i loved th ewhole feel and ecspecially the structure, good songwriting!

cfc? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=818343
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors