#1
It's not finished, but this is what I've wrote so far. Thanks for reading.

One day it came down around myself and everybody else
We fell into a tropical hell of paradise
It was so bright, yet so new I just had to look twice
Every one still alive had their own advice
All I could do was stand and think into a zone
Just as the moment passed I was blown by the wind
Maybe we're here because we've all sinned
But don't worry this is a new start
I just hope we don't get torn apart
By the beast awaiting in the trees
Oh lets go over there out of the sun and enjoy the cool breeze

I had no idea where we where
Everyone I saw, they they all looked like a blur
But one girl took my eyes to her long blonde hair
I shouted out "come over here"
With a frightened smile she came over to me
She said "what's happened? where are we?"
"I don't know I said" but "stay with me there's no need to be afraid"
"Come closer away from the heat and into the shade"
So we both laid there watching the crazy people
Doing whatever they could to help the hurt
But I knew there was reason to be alert

After three days there was only a few of us
We all did what we could to get by without a fuss
"We will be rescued soon enough I'm sure" we told one another
But after three more days we were all still suffering
No water, no food what do we do?
And than right out of the blue we saw a plane
But it was never there, it was just a sign that we were all going insane
The next day we find a water fall
Though it was a little hazy it was better than going crazy
#3
I think it starts out kinda good, but then it just keeps going, and going, and it's just so long that i couldn't even really read the whole thing, you know? i would definitely try and shorten it up a bit..The first stanza is by far the best and the other two..well they're just kinda lacking..idk..sorry this wasn't much help.. could you crit "jump off the mountain"? thanks..