#1
The day is all ours
Walking down the street to your place
We’ll grab our guitars
The serenade we play, and the look on your face

As I hold up your heart
The beat of the rhythmic rain provides a canvas
No downpour can keep us apart
The world revolves around us

With my fingers I"ll twirl your hair
I’m infinite next you
We don’t have a single care
Are you infinite too?

I see the drops on the window as it starts to rain
Your the color that brightens the bleak day

As I hold up your heart
The beat of the rhythmic rain provides a canvas
No downpour can keep us apart
The world revolves around us
#2
Sounds really good. The ONLY part that in MY opinion doesn't sound right is the " Are you infinite too? ". I know it rhymes, and it makes sense, but I just don't think it sounds right. Honestly, this isn't my type of music, or song-writing so I can't really say whether it should be there or not, and I can't think of anything to replace it, but I think you may want to look that little bit over.
Otherwise, good song.

PS
I have a song on this forum too. You seem to know what your doing, and I'd trust your suggestions if you have time to look at it.
#3
Thanks for the critique.

That line though, I seem to think adds to the song a lot, but poetry isn't about what it means to the writer, it's about what it means to the reader, so you're right.

IMO, I have no idea what I'm doing. That's what you get when you throw a pen at a 14 year old I guess. I'll make sure to check out your song, though. =D