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#1
Anyone who has been to a bar or classy hotel has probably witnessed the magnificent black man in the bathroom whose duties include:
-spray soap into your hands
-turn the sink on
-hand you paper towels
-offer you deodorant and gum
-tell amazing stories
-groove to the music
-be cool
-smile

And all you have to do (if you've a nice and understanding soul) is tip him. It's truly one of the best courtesies I've ever had the pleasure of being offered.

Anyway, my lady friend (understandably) doesn't believe me that there actually is a black valet in the bathroom, and insists that I'm making it up to make it seem like the guys' bathroom is superior to the girls' bathroom (which it is). So the first point of this thread is to ask someone to find me literature on the black valets of the world. I've tried wikipedia and google and can't find a THING. Very bizarre.

The second point of this thread is to discuss these heroes of the modern world. Because really....really...we should.

NOTE: The reason I say "black" constantly is because it's never a white man, presumably because...well just look at this scale:

___________________________________
-Beyond Cool - Black people |
- |
- |
- |
-Very cool - Johnny Bravo, Conan O'Brien |
- |
- |
- |
-Pretty cool - Spongebob Squarepants |
- |
- |
- |
-Not too cool - Martha Stewart |
- |
- |
- |
-So uncool it hurts - (99% of) White people |
____________________________________

EDIT: the scale got messed up but it still looks alright
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
#2
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk.
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#3
I'll try and get a picture with the guy in the Bassment on Wednesday if he's there. He's pretty cool, a Hero i agree lol

and yeah he is black
CYMRU


Quote by apothecarrie
I cut my tongue with a spoon.


Andrew Wk Party Tip 11Be Awesomer!

Woo
#4
Pretty sure you just made that up.
My band, Escher
My progressive rock project, Mosaic

Quote by Lappo
clearly, the goal is to convert every thread into a discussion about BTBAM

BTBAM IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#5
Ironic racism is only well executed when the perpetrator realises it.

*insert facepalm*
Quote by gorecore=me
is a bidet a type of crisp?
#6
the guys' bathroom is superior to the girls' bathroom (which it is).


Mind you, the girls' toilet has loads of tits and pussy.
#8
What the hell just happened?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I suggest you select the least popular of the woman-creatures, and fart directly in her face.
#9
where are you going with this.? this is a wierd thread..
Gibson LP Studio
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Vox Valvetronix AD50VT
Fender Mini Twin
Jim Donlup Cry Baby


92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this.
#10
Actually, I think they get elderly white people to do this a lot too. And my reasoning for this is slightly different then yours...:

This job doesn't to require much experience, education, training, and should not be difficult to attain for the average fella. Plus the pay probably sucks so you're working for tips. But for people who are desperate for jobs and can't afford post secondary, or are no longer in their prime....well there ya go.

Last edited by technicolour at Mar 24, 2008,
#11
thers at least two in every venue up our way
its awesome


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How do you physically download an album? Like run your computer off a dynamo on an exercise bike?
#12
Quote by filthandfury
Mind you, the girls' toilet has loads of tits and pussy.


This man has just won the argument in favor of your lady friend.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#13
it used to be that blacks were looked down upon as inferior beings.

now, everyone's realized "how cool they are" and are making racist generalizations about tehm.


ITS ABOUT TIME!
#14
yeah i've had one in a club. After i tipped him he was even like 'safe!' *does the hand thing*
#16
yeah i have seen them, they are nice guys, i was like "woah whats that guy doin in here?" then after doin wht i needed to do, he came over turned the tap on, gave me some soapand a hand towel then i was like best give him someting, so i grabbed a couple of dollor bills and said thanks and he was like "no problem, have a nice day"

i am english and there are none in england but when i was visiting my cousins in america this event happened
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do what jimbleton said


^ i did something good!!

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This.


^ to something i said!

☭UG Socialist Party ☭
#18
the one in my local club (Harpers in Guildford), has some great phrases to sell his stuff....for instance
"No splash no gash"
"No armani no poonani"
and many more

and yeh, they are everywhere, in most good bars and clubs.
Quote by ukuleleftw
When is beating your cat not justified?


Quote by Gaz_m2k5
This is almost as stupid as when someone thought there might be a UG warehouse where all the tabs are stored.



July 8th, 2007 @ Wembley - Best day ever
#19
I don't think this happens in England, but I have heard of them in America.
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
#20
the black guy in our resturant used to sell crack and im not frickin joking. our manager got fired along with the black dude
#21
Quote by Jimbleton
yeah i have seen them, they are nice guys, i was like "woah whats that guy doin in here?" then after doin wht i needed to do, he came over turned the tap on, gave me some soapand a hand towel then i was like best give him someting, so i grabbed a couple of dollor bills and said thanks and he was like "no problem, have a nice day"

i am english and there are none in england but when i was visiting my cousins in america this event happened


what do u mean none in england!?? do u ever go out in england?
Quote by ukuleleftw
When is beating your cat not justified?


Quote by Gaz_m2k5
This is almost as stupid as when someone thought there might be a UG warehouse where all the tabs are stored.



July 8th, 2007 @ Wembley - Best day ever
#22
Quote by Jimbleton
i am english and there are none in england but when i was visiting my cousins in america this event happened

There was on in the toilets of the London Astoria last time I went.
Quote by buckethead_jr
^And known for that bloody awesome croissant with a crown.
Man that's badass.


MINE SIG R PINK
#23
Surely it's just slavery reinstated? They probably don't pay them and beat them everytime they don't dispense soap properly.

Either way, I wouldn't know because we in England don't require a large black man to turn on our taps. We can do it ourselves.
#25
I actually saw one of these guys where I work. I was shocked he had an existence outside of Toast... Should've got his picture - none of my mates will believe me :P
#26
I've seen really old white guys as bathroom attendants, but never super-cool black dudes. I must be missing out.
#27
THE HARD ROCK CAFE IN NIAGRA FALLS (canadian side) HAD A WHITE GUY DOING THAT JOB!


...just saying
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Get a boner and slap your school doctor in the face with your penis.

It'll be funny.


Haiku by of friend of mine:
Fat guy play the bass
Get your jam on, get your jam
And peanut butter


Live Fast, Die Fun
#28
Quote by broady15
the one in my local club (Harpers in Guildford), has some great phrases to sell his stuff....for instance
"No splash no gash"
"No armani no poonani"
and many more

and yeh, they are everywhere, in most good bars and clubs.

Harpers sounds cool. I've been past it, but never in it. I'm not old enough.
#29
wait, you guys aren't just joking around? there are REALLY black people in bathrooms that will wash your hands for a tip? ****ING SWEET!
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#31
when I read the title of the thread, I figured it would have to do with rape, but this is much more fun!
#32
Whoa, whoa, whoa...


There are black guys in England?!
My band, Escher
My progressive rock project, Mosaic

Quote by Lappo
clearly, the goal is to convert every thread into a discussion about BTBAM

BTBAM IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#33
Quote by chubbychunks
Harpers sounds cool. I've been past it, but never in it. I'm not old enough.


its the place to be, once ur 18
Quote by ukuleleftw
When is beating your cat not justified?


Quote by Gaz_m2k5
This is almost as stupid as when someone thought there might be a UG warehouse where all the tabs are stored.



July 8th, 2007 @ Wembley - Best day ever
#34
You get them everywhere here now, well, not everywhere. I'm usually too drunk and not really aware.
"It's not nice when people call you darling and that"
#35
You know they don't actually pay those guys, they get some kind of sick pleasure from sitting there, watching. =S
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#36
Quote by rush5757
when I read the title of the thread, I figured it would have to do with rape, but this is much more fun!


More fun than rape?



Never!
CYMRU


Quote by apothecarrie
I cut my tongue with a spoon.


Andrew Wk Party Tip 11Be Awesomer!

Woo
#37
Quote by rush5757
when I read the title of the thread, I figured it would have to do with rape, but this is much more fun!

How is anything more fun than rape?
#38
There's a guy EXACTLY like that in a club called Arena in Exeter! If you pay him a quid he bangs a beat on the hand drier and raps, it's amazing! He's always telling us that he's bringing an album out
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#40
The title gives the wrong impression...

^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



Ibanez RG370DX
Peavey Valveking 112 (w/ Bad Monkey and GE-7 EQ)
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