#2
"Hey, thanks for coming out, check us out on myspace at myspace.com/blahblahblah. If you comment us, we'll comment you back and send out bulletins with the latest news from the band."

something like that?
#3
Don't do what the frontman in my band did. He was like: "do you know the muffin man? apparently when you have pneumonia and take too much medication, you see the muffin man!" or something like that.

Just be like 'hey guys, what's up?" and when they murmur and don't respond, act all offended or pissed off, and turn it into some big joke kinda thing. But always run stuff by your band so they don't get confused like I did at my show (see also, front page news today re: velvet revolver).
Telecaster - SG - Jaguar
Princeton Reverb, Extra Reverb
P-Bass - Mustang Bass
Apogee Duet 2 - Ableton Suite
#4
^Maybe tell them your URL but don't make it look like you're junkies.

Tell them the title of the next song?
Introduce a member of the band?
Tell them about the next song?
Make a joke?

I remember one time the singer for my old band was just like "So how bout them Yankees?" "How bout that weather?" during tech. difficulties.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#5
in my experiences
the frontman
will say like
"Thats some good ****ing drumming huh? ****ing "name"!!!!"

but seriously
the audience wont usually mind you tuning
but tune out loud
so they know
or keep an open chord going
#6
Quote by jthm_guitarist
^Maybe tell them your URL but don't make it look like you're junkies.

Yeah, it turns out he was referring to one of our friends in the crowd, but we had no idea what he was talking about. Just make sure that the whole band has a general idea of what you're going to BS about in between songs.

And don't pitch your URL more than twice, once in the middle, one time at the end. I think that's the best way to do the URL thing.
Telecaster - SG - Jaguar
Princeton Reverb, Extra Reverb
P-Bass - Mustang Bass
Apogee Duet 2 - Ableton Suite
#7
Quote by Sid McCall
Yeah, it turns out he was referring to one of our friends in the crowd,

I meant don't make it look like your band is a myspace junkie. "we will comment back" and so forth.
Just advice though, feel free to try that TS.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#8
^ oh, haha! I thought you mean a druggie junkie in reference to what my singer was saying. My bad!
Telecaster - SG - Jaguar
Princeton Reverb, Extra Reverb
P-Bass - Mustang Bass
Apogee Duet 2 - Ableton Suite
#9
Quote by jthm_guitarist
I meant don't make it look like your band is a myspace junkie. "we will comment back" and so forth.
Just advice though, feel free to try that TS.

My cousin's band did it until they started getting an assload of comments, so it might help for a little while.
#10
okay sweet. are there rules with introducing songs? can i miss songs? is doing it to everysong to repeditive.

and also, could i mention something about the band after us, its there gig. were supporing them. crowd will be made of their fans.
#11
Quote by Sid McCall
Don't do what the frontman in my band did. He was like: "do you know the muffin man? apparently when you have pneumonia and take too much medication, you see the muffin man!" or something like that.


WTF?! That's the coolest **** I've ever heard, lol, I'd ****ing pay to see that, good for a laugh anyway
#12
Quote by HethaHORRIFIC
okay sweet. are there rules with introducing songs? can i miss songs? is doing it to everysong to repeditive.



Not really. If it's a well known cover, you could say something like 'Here's one you might recognise' or if it's a new one you've written, you could tell the audience 'This is a brand new song and you're the first people to hear it. (I once went to see Saxon on three different dates of the same tour, and they said that about the same song at all three gigs )
You can either introduce a song before it starts, or you can wait until after it's finished and say 'Thankyou. That one was called .... and this next one is called...'

If people applaud you, always be polite and say 'thankyou' even if it's only a few people that's actualy applauding.
By all means tell the odd funny anecdote between songs, but don't make them long ones, the crowd have come to see a band not a comedian, just little one liners like 'Our guitarist locked the keys in the van earlier, it took him half an hour to get the drummer out.' will do nicely, but don't do them after every song, just occasionaly.
If you have a particularly good audience, say so. Say stuff like, 'Y'know, I do believe this crowd are actualy louder than....' and then mention another local town or a town that the town your in has some sort of football rivalry with. That usualy gets a reaction.

Say 'It's good to be here in... (name of the town you're in)' and if you've played there before, say 'It's good to be back here in... It's one of our favourite places to play.'

Try watching some live videos of guys like Ozzy or Dave Lee Roth, that'll give you more of an idea.
And finaly, learn a few decent put down lines in case you get any hecklers, audiences usualy like to see someone who can put a heckler down with a one liner, but don't go overboard because the gig will degenerate into a abuse going bacwards and forwards. And if your mind tends to go blank onstage when it's time to talk, by all means have a few notes at your feet next to your set list, just to promt you.

Quote by HethaHORRIFIC
and also, could i mention something about the band after us, its there gig. were supporing them. crowd will be made of their fans.

Yes, definately. Thank the headlining band for inviting you to play, and even say something like 'How many people have come to see... (name of headlining act)?' Then say ' Yeah... me too!'
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Mar 25, 2008,
#13
Prepare those one liners for hecklers. There's a thread lying dead somewhere in here with a few on for starters.

Just give em a bit of band history like We're xxx from xx. Thats all you need for that. If you have myspace give them the URL. Tell a short story about one of your songs. Needs only be one line. (best one i ever heard was at a Trivium gig, Matt Heafy just says, This song is ****in fast like the the rest of our Sh1t. This song is called "The Decieved.") Simple but memorable.

You won't need more than that if you're playing 5/6 songs or so. (i.e. opening with 2 tracks back to back, first round of chat, third, second chat, 4th song, short intro to 5th one. Last song.)

good luck.
#14
Quote by Hammerzeit
Prepare those one liners for hecklers. There's a thread lying dead somewhere in here with a few on for starters.



Yeah, I wrote that post.
Here it is.

Quote by SlackerBabbath

OK folks, gather around for heckler putdowns 101.

1. I refuse to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent! (always start with this as it also gives fair warning)
2. Aw. I remember my first beer too.
3. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
4. There's an alcoholic who doesn't want to remain anonymous.
5. You shouldn't drink on an empty head
6. Now I know why some animals eat their young.
7. What holds your ears apart?
8. Do I come to your work & tell you how to sweep up?
9. Go and lean against the wall in the other room,... that's plastered too!
10. Was your mother a weightlifter? No? How did she manage to raise a dumbell like you then?
11. If I could find enough wood, I'd board your mouth up!
12. I can't believe it. A hundred million sperm...and you were the quickest?
13. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
14. If brains were bricks, you'd be homeless.
15. Are you from the shallow end of the gene pool or something?
16. Why don't you take a piggy back ride on a buzz saw?
17. With a face that ugly, you could put your nose in your ear and blow your brains out.
18. If I wanted to hear from an arsehole I would have farted.
19. I'm sorry, I don't know how to deal with you, I'm a musician not a proctologist.
20. On a scale of one to ten.... you're an dickhead.
21. You're ugly, your dick is short, no one likes you, shut the f**k up.
22. I've seen better faces on a clock, and even then a cuckoo came out of it.
23. You couldn't get laid in a brothel with a fistful of twenties.
24. Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date later.
25. Look man, I grew up in... (name an area with a bad rep near to where you're playing) I've already been through your wallet, I know where you live, now shut the f**k up.
26. Good to see you again, I see you've gone back to wearing men's clothing.
27. To a man who has just implied that you're gay: You want to know if I'm gay? Why don't you and your girlfriend bend over and see which one I f**k?
28. I could have been your father.... but my brother beat me to it because he had change for a dollar.
29. You'll never be half the man your mother was.
30. I got into this business because I thought it would be a bit of a fanny-magnet, but I didn't think I'd come across as big a c*nt as you.... Then say....I apologize for calling you that. I'm sure you're not a c*nt. You probably don't have the depth or capacity to give pleasure.
31. Hey, I like doing my act the way you like having sex- alone.
32. You're the load your momma should have swallowed.
33. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
34. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
36. He's so empty headed, if you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
37. I honestly don't think you are a fool.... but then what's my opinion worth against thousands of others?
38. Do you know what you have in common with a sperm cell? You both have a 100 million to one chance of becoming a human being.
39. If you want to be on stage we'll switch places - you
come up here and entertain the audience, I'll go down there and act
like an asshole.


But like I said on that particular thread, read your audience first, some of these are a bit strong and cirtain audiences may take offense at them, but you should be fairly safe with 1 to 15.
#16
Our singer during our first show dedicated the first two songs to people, then told our friends they better beat the hell out of each other moshing to 'em, they were our heavier songs.

But through the entire show we completely forgot to say what our name wasO.o
the next band said it though, we stood right in front of the stage and had fun with 'em.
Last edited by stratkat at Mar 25, 2008,
#18
Heth,

If you play a cover, always credit the artist (not the song title) AFTER you sing it..."Thank you... that was Neil Young" Try to have as little dead time between songs as you possibly can. It's best to seguay from song to song without stoping. That's how the pros do it. Don't tell jokes between songs... you're really not that funny... and your mic is set up for vocals and will sound muffled when you try to speak. Go easy on the Myspace plugs... They should be able to read that on your banner... you do have a banner, don't you? The easiest way to shut up a heckler is to play really good, really tight songs. Rock on, Bro.

Dish
#19
i think a lot of it is about having a rapport onstage between your band. like, if i'm tuning up or putting a capo or something i'll make some kind of comment to the singer or something and there'll be some kind of banter develop from it. its difficult to say really, because some people just naturally have a certain kind of confidence or humour or whatever that allows them to joke about and be entertaining and things on stage without any real thought, and some don't.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
#20
if you're truly impaired...frightened or wasted - some little things I used to do when I sang:

-pretend like you're telling something important to a band member(of course off the mic)
-have a drink ready and start chugging it like your throat needs it
-just look somewhere where people can't see and point you finger like you're reading a setlist or checking up on lyrics
-disconnect the XLR and check it like you're having mic/cable problems(make sure to give the sound guy a thumbs up so he doesn't come over/waste time)
-you can also do the ^^^ with other people's equipment(don't mind the strange faces/wtf comments they'll give you cuz you're the one who'll look like you know what you're doing
-pace around looking angry occasionally looking at other people in your band/rolling your eyes so that again you look like you're in control of their f-ups

The whole point being - do anything EXCEPT look not-confident/a deer in headlights. DO NOT stare into the crowd without anything to say/do.

Hope it helps, it surely helped my often-wasted always-stage-frightened a*s. I've even gotten comments like "man you're so calm on stage"
Gear:
Inflatable Guitar
Digitech GSP 2101/Mosvalve 962/Yamaha S412V
My Imagination
#21
Depending on the band, so basically unless you've got like a "I hate the world, i hate life" gimmick or something, play up the crowd. Act human. Especially if you're the frontman. Pretend to screw up to waste time. Make jokes, just not like comedian style. Act personable, make the crowd actually like you.

But remember, in most cases, "Less talk more rock."
#22
Quote by KryptNet
if you're truly
-you can also do the ^^^ with other people's equipment(don't mind the strange faces/wtf comments they'll give you cuz you're the one who'll look like you know what you're doing
-pace around looking angry occasionally looking at other people in your band/rolling your eyes so that again you look like you're in control of their f-ups





do NOT do either of these unless you want the rest of your band to hate you and kick you out

making yourself look good at the expense of your other band, is a really ****ty thing to do.

pacing around and looking angry at everyone does not make you look in control it makes you look like your in a **** band that f-ups constantly.

if im playing a gig and our singer touched my amp or rolled his eyes at me i would come at him like a freaking spider-monkey
#23
Quote by Gurgle!Argh!
i think a lot of it is about having a rapport onstage between your band. like, if i'm tuning up or putting a capo or something i'll make some kind of comment to the singer or something and there'll be some kind of banter develop from it. its difficult to say really, because some people just naturally have a certain kind of confidence or humour or whatever that allows them to joke about and be entertaining and things on stage without any real thought, and some don't.

I agree.
I'd also like to add that most of having an on stage rapport, whether its with the rest of the band or with the audience, generaly comes from experience. The more gigs you do, the more confident you will become and the better your rapport will get.
#24
Quote by FuzzyBear
do NOT do either of these unless you want the rest of your band to hate you and kick you out

making yourself look good at the expense of your other band, is a really ****ty thing to do.

pacing around and looking angry at everyone does not make you look in control it makes you look like your in a **** band that f-ups constantly.

if im playing a gig and our singer touched my amp or rolled his eyes at me i would come at him like a freaking spider-monkey
well yes, my success was in subtlety...I wouldn't actually touch any knobs...just look at the equipment with a "hmm..." kinda face.

Besides, these were defenses so I wouldn't look like a drunken fool. teehee.

But to TS, fuzzybear is probably right.
Gear:
Inflatable Guitar
Digitech GSP 2101/Mosvalve 962/Yamaha S412V
My Imagination
#25
Well, we used to scream:
(frontman) "Are you ready to Rock And Roll (drummer's name)?"

(drummer)"I'm ready to rock and roll, are you ready to rock and roll (bassists name)?"

(bassist) "i'm ready to rock and roll, Are you ready to rock and roll (Guitarist's name)?" etc, until each member of the band had adressed every other member, with a little more intensity each time, then just blast out the songs, it was great for getting a good atmoshere going.

I think you can kill the atmosphere if you talk, people came to see you Rock.
#26
39. If you want to be on stage we'll switch places - you
come up here and entertain the audience, I'll go down there and act
like an asshole.


Pure win.
ESP


Respect Roope Latvala.
#27
Quote by AlexiSinergy
Pure win.

yah until the asshole has mad musical skillz, which would be a serios backfire.
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

Quote by TheReverend724
Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

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"Oh Mr.Cuddles, you make my pants go boom boom. I are horny. Do not disappoint I"


Viscara (my band)
#29
My band kinda banters among ourselves (loud enough for the audience to hear) onstage, like if somebody is taking a long time to tune up or switch guitars you can make fun of them for that, just make sure they know you don't really mean it. We also make up stories or descriptions of our songs that don't make sense, and or have nothing to do with the actual song, for example "This is a song about jacking off." then we played it, and introduced the next one "This song is about jacking off, too" or if you know someone in the audience, say like "we wrote this song about so-and-so's mom" or something. Once, we played a show with a band that introduced a song as "this song is called my tooth was loose so it wouldn't come out so I tied it to a door and slammed it but that didn't work so I tied it to a car and now my face came off" and you could tell the singer was making it up as he went.
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Quote by steven seagull
Justice is this, justice is that...justice is 9 minutes long and recorded in a cupboard full of fluffy pillows
#30
"About two days ago I woke up and saw (such and such) on the news and I felt sad that (such and such) had (such and such). This is dedicated to (such and such) who know the truth of the matter.
#31
hey guys.
thaks heaps for all the advise + the lulz.

the gig went off. the talk between songs was good. i mainly introuduced the songs, talked about what a couple of them were about. made some fun at the drummer (he loves it) and had a fair decent chat to the audience when the sound tech came up to fix the drum fill. (foldback).

it even included a myspace plug, as well as a plug for our gig tomorow.

we like it, and... THE PUBLICAN DID. IT WAS A FREE GIG BUT AT THE END HE CAME AND TOLD US HE LOVED OUR SET AND GAVE US EIGHTY BUCKS.

i know eighty bucks mightnt seem like much. but it is important, as its the first money eart from "mad as a hatter" and just proves that it is able to produce an income.

thanks.
#32
Quote by Missingno476
My band kinda banters among ourselves (loud enough for the audience to hear) onstage, like if somebody is taking a long time to tune up or switch guitars you can make fun of them for that, just make sure they know you don't really mean it. We also make up stories or descriptions of our songs that don't make sense, and or have nothing to do with the actual song, for example "This is a song about jacking off." then we played it, and introduced the next one "This song is about jacking off, too" or if you know someone in the audience, say like "we wrote this song about so-and-so's mom" or something. Once, we played a show with a band that introduced a song as "this song is called my tooth was loose so it wouldn't come out so I tied it to a door and slammed it but that didn't work so I tied it to a car and now my face came off" and you could tell the singer was making it up as he went.


are you in blink182?
#33
Quote by Mr.Cuddles
yah until the asshole has mad musical skillz, which would be a serios backfire.

Heh, I've seen, and been involved in, someone working this to his advantage.
This guy that I kinda know was playing with a couple of his buddies at a venue that's frequented by lots of musicians. They were doing OK but not great when suddenly, after only about 4 songs, he actualy started to heckle the audience, from the stage, without any provocation whatsoever. Then, once he'd got the crowd shouting abuse at him, he said 'Yeah? Ya think you can do better? Why don't you come up here and have a go then?'
So me and some mates got up and played some stuff, then someone else got up and that's how it went for the rest of the night, a bit like a jam night.
I found out afterwards that the guy and his buddies only actualy knew about 6 songs so he had set it up so that at least someone would be playing all night.
And we fell for it, and worse than that, he got payed by the venue after sitting on his arse all night for supplying the entertainment.

Quote by HethaHORRIFIC
hey guys.
thaks heaps for all the advise + the lulz.

the gig went off. the talk between songs was good. i mainly introuduced the songs, talked about what a couple of them were about. made some fun at the drummer (he loves it) and had a fair decent chat to the audience when the sound tech came up to fix the drum fill. (foldback).

it even included a myspace plug, as well as a plug for our gig tomorow.

we like it, and... THE PUBLICAN DID. IT WAS A FREE GIG BUT AT THE END HE CAME AND TOLD US HE LOVED OUR SET AND GAVE US EIGHTY BUCKS.

i know eighty bucks mightnt seem like much. but it is important, as its the first money eart from "mad as a hatter" and just proves that it is able to produce an income.

thanks.

Now that's what I call a result!
Well done.
Betcha' feel better about talking between songs now.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Mar 27, 2008,