#1
quivering brain and puckering soul,
strings on either end of a bow
undone by the trembling hands of a child
still learning to tie his shoes.
oh, and her molten lips,
how they dance as they trip,
and swell before they shrink
like a drunken rose.
#4
This is great, and the length is perfect. Not every poem needs to be miles long. It reads so well for me, and I can't fault anything in it. Very good stuff.
#5

I think a lot of your stuff is over rated, so I never really comment, but there was something poetic about this one that touched me up behind the bike shed




love is a dog from hell.



#7
I'm not one of those guys who believes a poem/song must be of a certain length and this is a testement to why people should not concern themselves with the length. It is very well written, interesting for such a short piece and is most certainly, sweet!
#8
Very nice poem! I liked it's shortness. My favorite part was the 'undone by the trembling hands of a child, still learning to tie his shoes' part. A great metaphor!

Solid stuff.
#9
yeah, for the length of this, I was really impressed with the punch this was able to pack. The sell for me was the image of a child tuning the strings of a violin. Just really beautiful and almost kind of haunting in way, but that's a good thing.