#1
This is a ska punk song I've been writing. I'm pretty happy with it but what do you guys think? Crit 4 Crit.

Verse:
Little Ray had so many plans and dreams
When he was young
He never thought that he would be
The man that he's become
But now he's here with all his missed oppurtunities
Failed attempts, and all his broken dreams

Chorus:
Life doesn't always go the way that you planned it
Make a couple mistakes and it all goes to ****
You look back on the past
And wonder how it went by so fast
And still to this day
You don't know where you went wrong

Verse:
So many tries, so many failed attempts
Your chances they are slim
(You'll never make it)
That's what they said to him
But he just kept pushin on
Tellin' himself they were wrong
Now look where he's gone

Chorus:x1

Bridge:
He didn't need the fame
He didn't need the fortune
Just give him a guitar and an amp
Crank up the ****ing distortion!!

Chorus:x2

End...
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
Haha that bridge is awesome. I think it's good and it fits the genre but sounds new. I think I might change "Now look where he's gone" to "where he's come" to sound more like accomplishment than disappearance and it kinda stays with the rhyme, but thats a judgement call. I'm sure if you perform itll come out however you remember it at that moment anyways.