jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#1
So here's a song that i've been working on today. It's far from being done as it's still missing a lot and I need to work out some transitions but I think you'll get the gist of it. Constructive criticism is appreciated.


BUMP/EDIT:OK I have changed a few things around and added a part to the clean guitar at the end but im not sure if im going to keep it there.

-Measures 59-70 are going to be there for a bass and guitar improv solo thing.

-The part leading into the clean guitar will be resolved by our drummer to make it flow better.

-Im also uploading a MIDI sequence that can stream on windows media player too for those people who dont want to be watching the tab.

Tell me what you guys think
Attachments:
new song 1 v.3.0 midi.zip
new song 1 v.3.0.zip
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
Last edited by jpgilbert701 at Mar 28, 2008,
Kramer1309
Registered User
Join date: May 2007
766 IQ
#2
Wow - sounds like you;ve been listening to colors alot.

Its really nice though - really like the jazz guitar part - riffs are great

Maybe add a sweet bassline, record it and then id download it :P
Gear:
ESP LTD EC1000
Douglas Spad (Alder) [ custom wired with EMG and Passives ] : Kramer Striker FR424SM
Line 6 POD X3Live : Digitech Rp80 : Tascam US144
Kustom Sound (crappy ass) solid state amp
Old Steel String Acoustic (some local company)
Last edited by Kramer1309 at Mar 27, 2008,
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#3
Quote by Kramer1309
Wow - sounds like you;ve been listening to colors alot

Indeed. I'll admit that i ripped the big triplet part off from white walls...At least I tried to add my own thing to it.

=D
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
Green_Jelly
Live from the tone lounge
Join date: Jun 2006
480 IQ
#4
Sounds like something you definately need to record.
Quote by lizarday
oh yeah? well larry king the slayer guitarist owns bc rich guitars. (i think)
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#6
wow thanks. I didnt think it was that good at first but thanks to these comments im gaining a bit of confidence.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
danilo19
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
624 IQ
#7
I really enjoyed that. The intro was really melodic then went into the thrashy metal like BTBAM would do. I'm pretty sure measure 28 is the exact same thing thing PauL plays at the end of "Prequel To The Sequel" of the new CD Colors. If that wasn't intended be proud you thought like him for that bit. haha It did get a bit repetitive but its good. Measure 42-49 was my favorite part. I really enjoyed 59 - 64 also. You've done a rather good job of writing something I could see BTBAM doing, thats a HUGE compliment cause I look up to them the most at the moment. Great job.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13499585#post13499585
Crit my song. thanks
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#8
Quote by Kramer1309
Wow - sounds like you;ve been listening to colors alot.

Its really nice though - really like the jazz guitar part - riffs are great

Maybe add a sweet bassline, record it and then id download it :P


Well me and my band will record it soon enough. We've already started recording another song and we're almost done with it. I guess once we've recorded this one i'll link you to our myspace (when we make it) so you can download it there.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#9
Quote by danilo19
I really enjoyed that. The intro was really melodic then went into the thrashy metal like BTBAM would do. I'm pretty sure measure 28 is the exact same thing thing PauL plays at the end of "Prequel To The Sequel" of the new CD Colors. If that wasn't intended be proud you thought like him for that bit. haha It did get a bit repetitive but its good. Measure 42-49 was my favorite part. I really enjoyed 59 - 64 also. You've done a rather good job of writing something I could see BTBAM doing, thats a HUGE compliment cause I look up to them the most at the moment. Great job.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13499585#post13499585
Crit my song. thanks


I would but unfortunately I don't have GP on this computer and the one I do have it on is down. Sorry bro =\
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
Mike_Callahan
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2006
85 IQ
#10
Man that was really awesome.
Everything in it was great
The only thing i want to point out is that i didn't find much flow going into the clean part at the end.
Other than that amazing job
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#11
Quote by Mike_Callahan
Man that was really awesome.
Everything in it was great
The only thing i want to point out is that i didn't find much flow going into the clean part at the end.
Other than that amazing job



Yeah thats really the main problem im having. I want there to be some type of like jazz fusion chromatic stuff but unfortunately I have no clue as to how to write in that style. Which means i'll have to compromise and come up with something a little less cool. If you guys have any tips or ideas for that little part then feel free to let me know. I need as much input and help as possible. =D

EDIT: I was just listening to viridian and I figured I could do something like that as well and slowly lead it into the part thats already written.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
Last edited by jpgilbert701 at Mar 27, 2008,
Internal Chaos
D.I.Y or D.I.E
Join date: Feb 2008
1,464 IQ
#12
That song was really epic

Basically, the only constructive criticism I can offer is to try to watch some of the notes in the multistring fast riffs. Although you did it well, a lot of people tend to try to go into more complex things and screw everything up.

Congrats man.
jpgilbert701
What?
Join date: Jul 2007
2,399 IQ
#13
Quote by guitargod9208
yeah, it sucks balls....
what the ****?



is this sarcasm?
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
kylendm
Baronboi
Join date: Aug 2006
8,281 IQ
#17
^+1 haha BTBAM are ****ing rad.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7421
Ibanez SA160
Amps:
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Madison Divinity II
Cabs:
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Bogner 4x12
H&K 4x12
versusforever
Registered User
Join date: May 2008
21 IQ
#18
Hey, I really like this! Particularly the jazzy guitar bit, that's awesome, nice change in tone - adds a new sort of dynamic to the song. Would love to hear this recorded, tell us when!

Oh and if you've got a spare moment, crit ours? Probably not really your style, but if you could just give us a general impression? Cheers.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=883338
Last edited by versusforever at Jun 12, 2008,
spartan 118
Aspiring Jack of All Trad
Join date: Aug 2006
1,150 IQ
#19
Quote by ouchies
It was good, but imo sounds way, way, way, way too btbam influenced.



I agree. It almost sounds as if I'm listening TO a BTBAM song. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not, but I think you shouldn't rely so much on someone else's style and try to add your own flavor in the mix. Great job though, I enjoyed it.

It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

HisShortness
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2007
108 IQ
#20
that was impressive... very much so. i really enjoyed it... the transitions were really smooth, except for the one at measure 62. its not terrible by any means but its not flowing as the rest of the song. i loved the riff that started at measure 50. i havent heard much BTBAM but if this is what they sound like i need to look them up


could you crit mine? i need an interlude in the one song and it seems like you could really help me out there yours were fantastic
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=884261
this is my song. i made it out of music. please help it grow big and strong by criticising it mercilessly
Last edited by HisShortness at Jun 13, 2008,