#1
when u go lock the door
cuz i'll b crying on the floor and feeling
insecure

i stammer to my feet
but i'm still reeling
from what u hammered me with
a cure to feeling faux feelings

now i'm up from being out and i go
out into the world and taking a beating
but i don't feel a thing its nothing compared to
how you were treating me
with the cure for feeling faux feelings

nothing matters cuz i'm numb
i don't even care if i "get some" tonight
nothing matters
nothing feels right
nothing feels the hole
left in my soul
that came when you cured me of feeling faux feelings

you cured me of having to have
so many dealings with teenage hearts that always stop b4 they start, and fall apart leaving u with a broken heart that came with no directions so the best that u can do is rebuild with super glue and try to immate that fragile thing that u've made strong by building it piece by piece from from **** u always had all along
Just because I play the drums doesn't mean I suck at guitar, or ams that I's iz stoopidz.


Space that ain't yours
#2
I'm not too sure where this is going. The structure is very strange, with varied stanza lengths and suddenly the wall of text at the end.

Also, why do you use shortened language? We have the whole english language in front of us, so why not use it properly!

I also thought the first stanza seemed slightly cliche'd. With the whole 'lying on the floor, feeling insecure.' I was confused by the second stanza too, with the whole curing false feelings. What is a cure to these false feelings?

I liked the idea of the third stanza, how taking a beating is nothing compared to how someone treated you. However, I feel the stanza could be more tidy which would help the flow of the poem.

I like what you're trying to say in this piece, but it just doesn't flow for me. If you tidy up the structure, use proper language, and try and get rid of some of the cliche's and forced rhymes such as 'door' 'insecure' and 'soul' 'hole' this would be a nice piece.

Sorry for the harshness, but would you prefer me to lie? Thought not.

I'd appreciate it if you looked at my piece too: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=822397