EDIT: (To much to read.) + progress
New peice up, im unsure of genre.
anyways listen, enjoy and tell me what you think.
(also im progressing through this track faster then i thought i may finish it sometime tonight.)


As always C4C

peace and love.
Last edited by champloo at Mar 27, 2008,
So umm... where is the file?

EDIT: Nevermind, I guess you just uploaded it =P. I'll listen now.

EDIT2: So far, sounding great. I like the time sig a lot, it's a good change from standard 4/4. I think the 3rd guitar helped a lot. I muted it and playing it through once and it felt empty, so that's good on your part. The break is a good change too. It's a bit repetitive, but I trust the vocals will change all that. Anyway, good job! 8/10
Last edited by xxCHANCExx at Mar 27, 2008,
sorry file is back up. i made a change.
hey thanks alot man! yeh hopefully the lyrics should drown out some of the repetetiveness, if you want to hear the finished work, i may finish tonight or sometime tommorow after work.

got anything for me to crit?
Last edited by champloo at Mar 27, 2008,
Well i enjoyed that quiet a bit. Intro didnt quite get my attention till the verse came in . Pre chorus is my favorite part of the whole song that and the chorus. Aww u didnt include a solo lol. I was looking forward to one but it never came. For that -1 lol. Still good. Break is nice with the bass. Chorus 2 is the best part of the whole song but i wish it would of flowed better rather than keep letting the bass interfear. I'm sure you could incorperate lyrics from those bass breakdowns. Swell job 8.5/10 c4c https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=821499
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Quote by champloo
sorry file is back up. i made a change.
hey thanks alot man! yeh hopefully the lyrics should drown out some of the repetetiveness, if you want to hear the finished work, i may finish tonight or sometime tommorow after work.

got anything for me to crit?

Sure, I'd love to see the finished result! And nope, I got nothing here for you to crit unless you want to crit a Job for a Cowboy cover I made =P . It's under music > Riffs and Recordings > Cover Songs.
i critted your cover, sounds pretty good,
sorry for the errr, drunkeness though lol.
and i have been working on writing a solo and a alternate verse before the final chorus/outro.
The first riff is pretty nice. I like the drums.

I really like your leads.

The drums on the break were really good.

Cool rff at 48.

By about 72, that theme is starting to get really repetetive.

All in al, it was a pretty decent song, bu there wasn't really anything exciting about it. It was jus kind of the same riffs over and over again. 8/10.
I'm a person.
if you changed the drums for most of your riffs so that the cymbals were on every quarter note, instead of every half bar, i think it would sound way better.

but it was really cool, some parts reminded me of circa survive (minus the double bass).

awesome job.


THE ARCHITECT σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ


drone/doom/post-metal: http://theygrieve.bandcamp.com
Thanks for the crits.
i'll make a different riff for one of the verses, try and cut down on the repetativeness, i was thinking of making maybe an acoustic final chorus for the outro?
maybe ill change that that riff at 48, change it so it dosn't get so repetative.
I've also been thinking of throwing a little solo in somewhere.
I'm suprised you liked my drums though haha, i thought they weren't that good.
But thanks alot you guys.
I'll work on this a bit more, i have a bunch of diff riff idea's to throw in there to try to make it a bit less repetative at times.
This is a really good piece! For starters, the melodies are very catchy and and to an extent, epic. Both the verse and chorus melodies = win. The song on the whole, compositional wise, is great. But the drums are, in my opinion, somewhat lacking. If I were you, I'd change the 35's on the bass drums to 36's, they just sound better and more whole in my opinion. Also, more drum fills + more cymbal/open hi-hat use could easily make this better.

I'm also curious as to why the bass doesn't come into play until the break (at least in the Gp4 version - which is what I'm critting). It could definitely add a lot more depth to song early on, which is only a good thing. The only other complaint I have is that during the second chorus, the stopping, while good for the first half, got a bit repetitive after a while. I personally think it would sound amazing if at bar 68 you just let the rhythm and melody keep going.

All in all, this a good song. I really enjoyed it. No solo is necessary in my opinion, although it does kind of end abruptly. In total, I'll give this an 8.5/10.

Good job.

Crit my latest?: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=824630
Thanks for all the crits, my drums are pretty crap, i haven't figured out how to use the drums great yet. i have a small solo put in (16 bars) and im working on adding the bass through the rest of the song plus fixing some of the drums.

The outro is coming along nicely and the final verse and chorus i have changed a bit.

Thanks again.