onebetter
User Registered
Join date: Aug 2006
1,268 IQ
#1
I've taken a bit of a new direction with my writing and gone progressive. This one still has my usual thrash influence, but I've also been listening to a lot of BTBAM, Opeth, and Dream Theater lately, so you'll find a little bit of each mixed in here. It's not finished, and I'm considering taking out the solo in the end. Tell me what you think.

UPDATES!!!

I finally finished the song. I added a whole new bridge part and then wrapped up the song with a re-intro. Please enjoy.
Attachments:
Pepto Bismol.zip
Last edited by onebetter at Apr 11, 2008,
Jonathan Trejo
ZeBlaZeD
Join date: Nov 2007
1,438 IQ
#2
The Intro is bad lol, Maybe change the lead keyboard to something else. but the verse is good. Prechorus is also nice. That music box theme with the morse code is the best. I really enjoyed that part. But then the lead ruined it . Chorus fits well with the morse code riff. That part maked something is probably the highlight of your song. The piano or the jazz is good at 149 throughout. I like the lead during that part. ending isnt that bad. Gj 7/10 c4c https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=823979
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TSaxnBassist
His name is Alexi Laiho
Join date: Jul 2006
824 IQ
#3
Thanks for the crit mine, I was thinking the same things, I just wanted confirmation from other people. Plus Im hoping that vocals would substantially help. I guess its back to the drawing for me.

Definetly progressive, and very energetic. Your transitions are smooth, which are very important when writing like this. The solo was good, I liked it, and you have an excellent use of the keyboard. Overall very good job, I liked the way it ended too, it was fitting. Keep rockin dude.
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Last edited by TSaxnBassist at Mar 29, 2008,
PinkIsCool
UG's Pink Pirate!
Join date: Mar 2006
2,002 IQ
#4
I actually like the intro. It sounds cool with the drum beat at 7. "Morse Code" is a little bit bothersome rythmically, but it still sounds okay.

27 isn't te best trah riff ever, but it certainly gets the job done.

Dude, GREAT timing on that breakdown.

89..... holy cheese that's awesome.

149 is really sweet too. I love how you mix all these styles.

On 168, the solo guitar needs to play a 14 on the D-string to finish the solo. Just play it and then have it slide down or something. Otherwise, pretty good solo.

I'm going to give that a 9/10. There were some minorly annoying parts, but the rest was pure gold.
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Daemos
Est 1989
Join date: Mar 2007
551 IQ
#6
Loved it. That sounded to me to be pretty much flawless. The intro was one of my favourite parts actually, you seem to have grasped how to write this kind of music immediately, and there's method in your madness!

Particularly good imo was the morse code at 71 and the transition into the proper riff, the bridge at 89 which you've called "something..." and also the distorted bass at 132 which really gives that riff an evil feel (and it's cleverly implemented with the distortion guitar).

Very nice work. If you want, crit mine, it's the one in my signature

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