#1
sister mary put her head in her hands and drowned
lost her virtue to a man that is no where around
watered down gin and the smoke from a cigarette
sister mary hasnt learned to beat her demons yet
CHORUS
oooh-oooh poor sistermary aint holy no more
ooh ooh seduced by the devil behind a firery red door
ooh noo poor sister mary aint holy no more
ooh yeah she wanted more...........yea she did
VERSE
feeling all boxed in was sister mary alone with her lies
swept off her feet by temptation, a man with the evil eyes
starring out the window at the fridged and blinding snow
paranoid sistermary sits wondering what the other ones know
CHORUS
oooh-oooh poor sistermary aint holy no more
oooh-oooh seduced by the devil behind that firrey red door
oh -no poor sister mary aint holy no more
ooh yeah, she wanted more...........and she got it
LAST VERSE
alone in the chaple, sister mary prepares to repent
a need for redemption, please father excuse my sin
but she knows its all for nothin, she knows she`ll do it again
she had a taste of the world, and the world will be her sin
CHORUS
oooh-oooh poor sister mary aint holy no more
ooh-ooh seduced by the devil behind that firey red door
oooh no poor sister mary aint holy no more
ooh yeah, she wanted more..............

thank you for reading, this is a mid tempo rock song, with a vaguely similar (sp) sounding bass line to nite moves by bob segar.
epiphone gothic lp
ibanez arc-300
epiphone traditional pro lp
vox ad100vht head.
vox cab
#3
Wow, not bad at all. This your first song?

I liked it, because it flowed nicely in my head. I want to make one suggestion: in the last verse, on the last line, I'd change "sin" to something else, as it ends like line 2 does.

That's all I need to say, really. Good job.

I'll be posting a song called "Cue" later, and maybe you could leave a comment if you feel obligated. Thanks.
#4
thank you both for your comments. actually this song is around 3 years old, and was written around a bass riff. it was a staple song in our band, but sadly never got recorded b-4 band crashed and burned.
epiphone gothic lp
ibanez arc-300
epiphone traditional pro lp
vox ad100vht head.
vox cab