#1
I'm Already Dead


The long night is young
and i know we are too
we were only two teens in love
but now it's all through

beilive me when i say
i know you're up against a wall
but let me tell you i'm on the other side
trying, so hard not to let it fall

and only i know
you're dying inside
yet i never was, well
i never really was alive

you're eyes so full of tears
that only i can see
i cried myself an ocean
and now i can't breath

take everything to my grave
blame myself for everything
every piece of heartache
every bit of pain

it seems like things are over
just consider what i've said
i know inside you're dying
but baby, i'm already dead
You're not alone, I'll always be standing next to you.
#2
Hi.

I'd just like to say how good those lyrics are, you msut have worked long and hard on them. I don't quite get the meaning but it is still great!

Have you written any music ofr this, if so I would love to hear it
#3
Quote by clawKitten
I'm Already Dead


The long night is young
and i know we are too
Nice opening I can kind of see where this will be going...
we were only two teens in love
but now it's all through
And then I was wrong, I like that. I think you should get rid of "two teens" and just make it "teens"


beilive me when i say
i know you're up against a wall
but let me tell you i'm on the other side
trying, so hard not to let it fall
I really like this, it doesn't sound forced at all..

and only i know
you're dying inside
yet i never was, well
i never really was alive
I don't see why you put only in there honestly, it doesn't flow as well as it should. I don't know if I like the way the 4th and 5th lines were almost the exact same though, you should change that...

you're eyes so full of tears
that only i can see
i cried myself an ocean
and now i can't breath
Not bad...

take everything to my grave
blame myself for everything
every piece of heartache
every bit of pain
Sounds a little cliche... not too keen on this line...

it seems like things are over
just consider what i've said
i know inside you're dying
but baby, i'm already dead
I am guessing this is a chorus (Because it is almost exactly the same as something above" in which case it is fine if not switch it around so it is different from the other one...


Overall not too bad.

Crit mine if you would they are in my profile.
I wrote a song about war...
The kind that lives in your head.