Valo
UG's Kanye West.
Join date: May 2004
293 IQ
#1
This is my first post here, or well, rather posting a song and I am pretty new at Guitarpro workings..

I got a bit sketchy do to the whole sidewinder thing, but alas here is a song I'm currently working on, and I have NO idea where to go, or what to do with it, I'm unbelievably lost. haha; If I can ever get this done, it'll prolly be my bands opening track to our debut CD.

I'll crit for crit, defiantly. Help a brother out.
Attachments:
The Undertow.zip
liam1107
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
464 IQ
#2
i suggest that you go back to the main riff only on one guitar for four bars, let the bass kick in on the third bar with a slide up to the 5th fret, if you'd like i cud make a few modifications and repost it and you can see wha you think
AMONGtheSILENCE
Shredding Prodigy
Join date: Mar 2008
98 IQ
#4
hey just played through it man. sounds great. one thing, though, i don't really think those lead octaves in the second verse or whatever works real well, maybe adjust it or something, but if this is you first song, thats really good for a first song. another thing you could try is, during that main verse riff you could palm mute the single notes on the bottom string but just those notes, and see what you think.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=825407
I'll rock til' I die
And I'll play for all time
Jonathan Trejo
ZeBlaZeD
Join date: Nov 2007
1,438 IQ
#5
lol Sounds like u took that riff from rose shardyn by KSE from the pre-chorus. lol but it sounds alright. Harmonies are good, Pre-chorus is sweet, Chorus shined like crazy lol. Very nice chorus. The Sliding was a good transition. All though that intro sounds very generic lol... Sounded alright thow. It isnt a full song? o wellz wut u got so far is a great start gj. c4c In The Works = https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=821499
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Valo
UG's Kanye West.
Join date: May 2004
293 IQ
#6
Thanks Johnathan!
I guess the intro is pretty generic; I just wanted the intro to just pump into it, haha.
I can see what you mean by the KSE riff; but im pretty sure there different.

It's not a full song yet, I'm working on it, I've already changed some bits up; so I'll prolly update it soon. I'm getting to yours right now.
Broadsword
The Wild Rover
Join date: Mar 2006
2,548 IQ
#8
There's a reason things are generic: it's because it works lol. It is a bit generic, but it is good.

Riffwise, there's nothing really bad, but there's nothing outstanding either. The only part I didn't really like was the chorus; in my opinion, the synth leads weren't that great, and the whole chorus was really muddy in the first two bars. Also, the space between the first and second choruses was short. The transition between the second verse and chorus was abrupt as well.

The drums, in my opinion, are the weakest part of the song; they are pretty much just "there." Don't get me wrong, you had some good transition work, but for the most part the rhythm was pretty plain. Although I must say I'm impressed that you didn't use constant double bass drumming throughout the entire song (something which I am weening myself off of, as it's an easy habit to fall into )

All in all, it's a good song so far, it's definitely solid. I'd like to see the finished product.

Crit mine?: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=824630
Valo
UG's Kanye West.
Join date: May 2004
293 IQ
#9
Thanks man; Im not much of a drummer; so of course my drums lack... alot. haha.

So far, i've replaced the transition there into a mini solo or something, still trying to figure out where to go with it.
liam1107
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
464 IQ
#10
ok this is what ive done to your song but as broadsword says it is generic but works because of it. aint sure what direction you wanted to take it so i just took the obvious song structure way and by doing so it sounds like a trivium/bullet for my valentine song which isnt really a bad thing just in case you think that calling it bullet for my valentine-esque is.
write back to me what you think about it and right now ill apologise for the ending. even with my own songs i can never get a good ending out them
Attachments:
The Undertow mod.zip
Discouraged
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2005
205 IQ
#13
I like how the intro gradually builds up, and there's some sweet harmonizing in there aswell. It is kind of generic as people have mentioned, but it works well and sounds good, so it doesn't matter in the slightest.
Where you've marked that last 'transition' on bar 46 seems like the perfect place to break out a huge solo. The moment the chorus finished I could just picture dirty, harsh sounding unison bends starting it off. After the chorus, some screeching bends would be a real punch in the face for listeners, if you ask me. It'd sound awesome. Great so far. Me likes.
I'd link you to mine, but if you have problems opening GP5 files, then you probably won't have much luck with mine.
DSchmitty
UG Freak
Join date: Jan 2008
1,016 IQ
#14
Ugh, not metal, more like punk, any very messy like, and a bit to jumpy, really bad song for someone to sing over.
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Currently in Ontario, Canada.


liam1107
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
464 IQ
#15
arrrgg thats no good what does it say when you try and open it
liam1107
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
464 IQ
#16
and the bit that everybody seems to be referring to as dirty is probably track one on the chorus
i think i may have changed it a little for the final chorus that raises it 3 semitones
Da DrUmMa
Insane Beast
Join date: Nov 2007
397 IQ
#18
sounds great! my only suggestion: the drums should be more consistant in the intro. also i think there shouldnt be the crash on 57 goin the whole time during the intro. maybe a crash on the big downbeats and maybe a open high hat on the back beats(2+4)? just my opinion though..

9/10 for not finishing and for drums. nice job! c4c? a lonely descent in sig plz