#1
Hey, this is also my first post.
This is my first song I've ever wrote and when I was writing this, I kept hearing the song "No It Isn't" by +44 over and over in my head.
So I want you guys to listen to "No It Isn't" first, if possible. I apologize if it sounds too similar, rhythmically.

PS: If you could help me find a name for it, I WILL LOVE YOU.


Untitled
I have wondered why
You put up with it all
Look up at the sky
Can you hear it's call

It does yell and scream
Until the ears they bleed
And your touch it gleams
I have been worried
[For too long]

So lets say our vows
And quicken our dismay
We'll keep it to ourselves
I want to hear you say

That one and only phrase
That keeps me waking alive
Keeps me in your gaze
I promise I will survive

This terrible situation
It holds us all down
The hole you dug that deepened
I felt I was to drown

In a pool of tears
That we filled with broken facts
And your smile it clears
And oh, though, it detracts [echo]

So lets say our vows
And quicken our dismay
We'll keep it to ourselves
I want to hear you say

That one and only phrase
That keeps me waking alive
Keeps me in your gaze
I promise I will survive

So lets say our vows
And quicken our dismay
We'll keep it to ourselves
I want to hear you say

That one and only phrase
That keeps me waking alive
Keeps me in your gaze
Your eyes they scream an awful lie

Worse than what I feared
Has it come to this
And I truly endear
Ignorance is bliss

And you are no exception
Has it come to this
Maybe I am not human
Cause Ignorance is bliss
Last edited by iplaythefish at Mar 31, 2008,
#2
this song's great! some names that I was thinking of was "Calling You" or "Ignorance is bliss" (since you used it twice and you ended with it, I thought it'd be okay? ) the thing I found most interesting was how it flowed so well. at first, I was sort like "this might be kind of messy without a refrain" but it has an undemanding logic to it. (sort of like Hey there delilah, but I don't know if you want it compared to that or not). but still, good job.