#1
This is my first time posting lyrics on a forum. I picked a song at random from my pile. I wrote this one a few years ago. Feel free to crit. This is for an old friend who really hit bottom...


How easy it is to be chapped by the wind
The marks set so deeply in your skin
Where you are and where you’ve been
I can see tears like thin blood on your skin

You know I can still see the marks on your skin
Where you are and where you’ve been
I’ve watched you bleed again and again
And I still see the tears on your skin

Hello there old friend
Its been so long how have you been
I can see it in your eyes , just how you have been
It feels nice to see you again

Your smile eventually begin to fade
You couldn’t find a place to stay
We’ve all seen better days
Just what have you lost in the trade
Last edited by Parr at Mar 31, 2008,
#2
This definitely has a nice, distinct story to it and it's great! Only thing is, I wish it were longer! The story could have so much color to it more than it already has! There's potential in this (maybe a refrain?). Otherwise, I like the idea and how you've set things up!