#1




Carry Me Away.


In these, the Dark Ages, I find myself feeling affection
for an era I never expected to - Grey dawns full of drowsy journeys
And Seven Years of education
Going slowly to waste.

Hiding in the attic, lying to peers across at my screen...
Somehow, I was happy. And if you asked me how I'm set,
I'd say everything would be fine, come what May.

Time's changed. But I haven't moved on from
Escaping like I did. I'd go back if I could; to that place
And I'd run away from there again one day.
Stepping on Autumn's leaves underfoot
Under clear blue skies, all the while doing so,
I'd know the meaning of Polaroids of Polar Bears.

Even though I never really lived there -
Really I lived anywhere but there -
Some piece of my soul is left behind there;
Stillorgan. It's attached to me, still,
And it beats the Heart out of me, lately.
Maybe that piece is just what you
Can't seem to bring with you to work;
Youth. Maybe I'll be frank and keep it
Hiding in the attic still.





________________________
This might just be one of those pieces written just for me, 'cause it's self-centered and you might have to be me to get half the references. But I hope it has some effect anyway and that someone likes it.
Ro
ρ
#2
In these, the Dark Ages, I find myself feeling affection
for an era I never expected to - Grey dawns full of drowsy journeys
And Seven Years of education
Going slowly to waste.


^Great. When I read this, it actually made me rewind; perfect choice of words. The only thing that could make this section better (IMO) is if you took out "the" in the first line. I kinda feel like it would flow better if was just "In these Dark Ages...etc." "the" seems almost like an unneccessary description?

Unfortunately though, this stanza was what kept me reading the rest of the poem. I think you said it best, "too many inside references?"

Besides that fact, even though i didn't understand some of it, i did however, enjoy this piece. I'll be looking forward to seeing more.

If you'd like, maybe you could take a look at my latest? It's called 3 Intercedes.
Last edited by ottoavist at Apr 1, 2008,