#1
Title of thread is title of song. It's in my profile.

I wrote this song and showed it to my guitar teacher, who told me to write a drum and bass part, plus vocal harmonies. So now I've recorded an attempt at that. I also added some trumpets with garage band that I'm not tooo certain about.

Let me know what you think, and if you leave a link I'll comment.

Here are the lyrics:

I find that smell invading my taste buds
And cheap wine add fuel to our fires
You unwind like a fuse attached to a doorknob
A short pause for a flickering wire

When you wake up you don’t bother to wake me anymore
And you burn off all the traces of you from my door
Now that I’m lost you are found
You leave golden ashes on the ground

Our hands shed sweat in the warmth of our power
Last squeeze as our hunger declines
My plans tapped and extinguished in ashtrays
Lower pressure till it all sublimes

When you wake up you don’t bother to wake me anymore
And you burn off all the traces of you from my door
Now that I’m lost you are found
You leave golden ashes on the ground

The halls all bend at the will of the gases
The roof finds some way to divide
And the walls lose faith in their current foundations
Crack a smile for you outside
I’ll miss that looks in your eyes

When you wake up you don’t bother to wake me anymore
And you burn off all the traces of you from my door
Now that I’m lost you are found
You leave golden ashes on the ground
Yeah you leave golden ashes on the ground
#3
^Do the horns work though? The synthyness kinda grates me but I dunno whether to cut it out entirely or what.
#4
I liked the lyrics, and the bass/percussion parts seemed to fit well, although tbh, you could get away with just the guitar. The harmonies were well placed, but I thought that there could be a few more of them. The trumpet part was meh, it could be ok played on a real trumpet, but I think you should find a different instrument to play tha melody. Maybe guitar, or you could do a vocal "la la" thing, I dunno.

Good song though. C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=828701

P.S lol Mansfield