#1
I'd like a comment on this song I wrote please no hard responses


Heaven shines down
On the wicked
teenager's crime complain
never knowing they're much better off
than all the rest
no appreciation
no return
never respected those who gave them life
their minds are trained to the screens
and lost all care for their future
and only care what's on their mind

(chorus)
they all stay the same
but all preach for change
they've lost all hope
no light or horizon
they always lust for help
but they all only complain

no spoken treason
loopholes never meet
change is all blood written
it's all incomplete
aching for some reason
no one wants to listen
all hope is no rest
it's all just the same
melting health
no concentration
unhealthy loss
and domination

(chorus)
they all stay the same
but all preach for change
they've lost all hope
no light or horizon
they always lust for help
but they all only complain

lets all have it end
and have some consent
it takes some time
it wastes no time

(chorus)
they all stay the same
but only entertain
they have some hope
lost some surprise
they all need their help
but they all only complain
#2
not that bad. just try to manipulate the words when you sing them so that they sound like they rhyme, even when they don't. it will make it sound godly if you do that
#3
Quote by Folkrockrevival
not that bad. just try to manipulate the words when you sing them so that they sound like they rhyme, even when they don't. it will make it sound godly if you do that


how do you mean godly?